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Economy

Shoddy Chinese-Made Stock Market Collapses

SHANGHAI—Proving to be just as flimsy and precarious as many observers had previously warned, the Chinese-made Shanghai Composite index completely collapsed Monday, sources confirmed.

Report: America Still World Leader In Manufacturing Excuses

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Revealing that Americans still excel in assembling all types of justifications, a report released Monday by researchers at Rutgers University confirmed that the United States remains the world’s unrivaled leader in manufactur...
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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

  • Pro
    • Gives multimillion-dollar companies the ability to make money on their own schedule

    • Fosters competition and growth in the on-demand milkshake sector

    • Workers get the flexibility they need to make desperate phone calls trying to track down their next job

    • Companies can take risks and innovate without fear of sharing the rewards

    • Fairly efficient way to compartmentalize human beings based on market value

  • Con
    • Food can still take more than several seconds to get to you after you’ve decided you want it

    • Sometimes humans have to visit the doctor

    • Dilbert magnets really lose their punch in a home office

    • Terror-fueled exhilaration that stems from not knowing how much you’ll be paid next week gets old after a while

    • Have to download some app called ScrubStoop

    • Still more costly than slavery

More from this section

Shoddy Chinese-Made Stock Market Collapses

SHANGHAI—Proving to be just as flimsy and precarious as many observers had previously warned, the Chinese-made Shanghai Composite index completely collapsed Monday, sources confirmed.

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