adBlockCheck

education

Tips For Writing A Research Paper

Students at every level of the education system are required to write the occasional research paper, and some might wonder where to begin. The Onion provides some tips for writing a stellar paper:

The Pros And Cons Of For-Profit Colleges

With studies showing that for-profit college degrees create more debt and no more added value for students, many are questioning the merits of these institutions. Here are the pros and cons of for-profit colleges

The Pros And Cons Of Taking A Gap Year

Malia Obama will wait a year between graduating high school and attending Harvard in 2017, in what is becoming a rising trend among American students. Here are the pros and cons of taking a gap year:
End Of Section
  • More News

Fourth-Grade Teacher Receives Dark Portent Of Coming Storm From Gnarled, Haggard Third-Grade Teacher

WAVERLY, NE—Listening as the haggard messenger spoke of ominous clouds upon the horizon, local fourth-grade teacher Myra Helms received a dark portent of a gathering storm from pale and bedraggled third-grade teacher Beverly Milfay, sources confirmed Thursday. “Hearken to my words! The unspeakable malevolence that befell me will soon descend upon you—a woeful tempest tears through Meadowlark Elementary, leaving nothing but misery and ruination in its path,” said Milfay, a shudder passing through her weary, sallow countenance as she spoke of a classroom disrupted by rampant misbehavior and screeching voices “unconstrained by any empty commandment to raise one’s hand.” “Beware foremost the one who calls himself Trevor, he of the wavy brown hair and shark-tooth necklace. The others follow his lead, and if his mockery is loosed upon you, your doom will be sealed by the multitude. Heed my warning or suffer an entire year!” The third-grade teacher also exhorted her colleague against any interaction with “the one known as Bradley,” who if called upon to read aloud will grow nervous and “swiftly desecrate his garments with urine.”

More from this section

Tips For Writing A Research Paper

Students at every level of the education system are required to write the occasional research paper, and some might wonder where to begin. The Onion provides some tips for writing a stellar paper:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close