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Wow, Dad Really Went From Zero To 60 With Woodworking This Summer

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Wedding Photographer Keeps Calling Bride’s Parents ‘Mom’ And ‘Dad’

CHARLOTTE, NC—Despite having just met the middle-aged couple earlier that afternoon, local wedding photographer Bob Dennison kept referring to the bride’s parents as “Mom” and “Dad” throughout the Lambert-Carrillo wedding Saturday, sources reported. “All right, I need Mom and Dad standing right here in front of the rosebush.

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.
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Wow, Dad Really Went From Zero To 60 With Woodworking This Summer

PAGE, AZ—Expressing their astonishment as they once again heard the sound of their father using his circular saw in the garage despite his seemingly complete lack of interest in the craft prior to last month, the children of area man Sam Morgan, 52, confirmed Tuesday that, wow, their dad had really gone from zero to 60 with woodworking this summer. “I don’t know if I’d ever heard Dad mention anything about wood or carpentry or anything like that before a couple weeks ago, but now he’s constantly saying things like ‘dovetail joints’ and talking about picking wood with a good grain on it,” said son Kyle Morgan, 15, recounting he and his siblings’ surprise last weekend when their father emerged from the garage with a relatively basic but functional magazine rack. “And just the other day, he took a look at a broken part of the railing on the back deck and said he could probably fix it himself. Who the hell is he all of a sudden?” According to reports, Morgan’s children later glanced at each other in bewilderment as their father got up from the dinner table, grabbed a can of varnish and a rag, and told them he ought to “get back to [his] projects.”

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