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Middle-Aged Couple Sick Of 31-Year-Old Son Always Trying To Set Them Up With Other Parents

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Wedding Photographer Keeps Calling Bride’s Parents ‘Mom’ And ‘Dad’

CHARLOTTE, NC—Despite having just met the middle-aged couple earlier that afternoon, local wedding photographer Bob Dennison kept referring to the bride’s parents as “Mom” and “Dad” throughout the Lambert-Carrillo wedding Saturday, sources reported. “All right, I need Mom and Dad standing right here in front of the rosebush.

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.
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Middle-Aged Couple Sick Of 31-Year-Old Son Always Trying To Set Them Up With Other Parents

EDMOND, OK—Admitting that the repeated attempts to meddle in their lives were really starting to grate on them, local couple Alice and Richard Bloom told reporters Thursday they were sick of their 31-year-old son constantly trying to set them up with other middle-aged parents. “It seems like every time we talk to him he’s always asking us if we’ve met any nice couples lately before trying to sell us on the parents of one of his work friends—he’s not subtle about it, either,” said Alice Bloom, 58, who added that despite their polite expressions of disinterest, their son continues to show them pictures on Facebook of couples he believes they would like. “One time, he was so insistent that we would get along with this one couple, the Mitchells, that we finally agreed and went out to dinner with them. They were nice and all, but we didn’t really have anything in common. I know he means well, but I wish he could understand how uncomfortable this makes us. I mean, we don’t need to be introduced to other parents like we’re total losers who don’t know how to meet people.” The Blooms later conceded that part of the reason they regularly resist meeting the couples their son suggests is because they didn’t want to see the smug smile of satisfaction on his face should they and the other parents happen to hit it off.

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