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How Fashion Trends Arise

With the growing popularity of “fast fashion,” or designs that move quickly from the runway to retail chains, many wonder how their favorite styles first arise. The Onion breaks down the process step by step

Woman Stalked Across 8 Websites By Obsessed Shoe Advertisement

LAWRENCEVILLE, GA—Expressing her growing unease at repeatedly spotting the same picture and text lurking in the corners of her favorite webpages, local woman Laura Spelman confirmed Monday that she has been stalked across eight different sites by an obsessed Nine West shoe advertisement.

Area Man Under Impression He Got Dressed Up

PROVIDENCE, RI—Explaining that the dinner he would soon be having at an upscale restaurant required him to wear something a bit special, local man Kyle Finnegan was under the impression that he had just gotten dressed up, sources said Thursday.

Man Has Story For Every Stain On Pants

DAYTON, OH—Able to call to mind a unique anecdote for each grease smudge, errant pen mark, and splash of barbecue sauce, local man Thomas Newcomb, 31, has a story for every single stain on his pants, sources confirmed Thursday.

Nation Rallies Behind Embattled Celebrity Gown

LOS ANGELES—In response to a rash of harsh criticism leveled against a gown worn by actress Charlize Theron at a recent Hollywood charity event, millions of Americans across the country have risen up this week to show their support for the publicly ...

57 Women Stoned To Death During Annual Riyadh Fashion Week

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—With local organizers and attendees hailing the event as a “major success,” the Saudi Arabian capital Riyadh wrapped up its 10th annual fashion week Friday, a star-studded international showcase of the latest trends ...
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Humiliated Man Discovers Embroidery On His Jean Pockets

CHICAGO—Growing increasingly ashamed as he imagined how many people must have already noticed, local man Matt Quinlan was reportedly humiliated Friday upon discovering ornate embroidery on his jeans’ back pocket. “Oh, God, how did I miss this shit?” said Quinlan, 29, who cringed upon realizing that his shirt was not long enough to cover up the garish decorative stitches that would be in full view for the rest of the day. “Christ, I can’t just walk around with this thing on my pants—everyone can see it. Goddammit. How did I miss this at the store?” At press time, a relieved Quinlan had managed to salvage the pants by cutting off the flashy back pocket with a pair of scissors.

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