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The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income

As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar initiative could work in the United States. Here are some pros and cons of such a program:

The Pros And Cons Of For-Profit Colleges

With studies showing that for-profit college degrees create more debt and no more added value for students, many are questioning the merits of these institutions. Here are the pros and cons of for-profit colleges

Budget-Conscious Obamas Strongly Pushing Malia Toward UDC Community College

WASHINGTON—Repeatedly emphasizing the benefits of completing her core requirements at a fraction of the cost of a four-year school, President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama continued their efforts this week to persuade their 17-year-old daughter, Malia, to attend the University of the District of Columbia Community College.

Study Finds 68% Of Americans Unprepared For Sudden Financial Stability

AMES, IA—Noting that most Americans never consider the possibility that such life-altering circumstances could ever befall them, a study published Monday by researchers at Iowa State University revealed that 68 percent of citizens are wholly unprepared for a sudden bout of financial stability.

Shoddy Chinese-Made Stock Market Collapses

SHANGHAI—Proving to be just as flimsy and precarious as many observers had previously warned, the Chinese-made Shanghai Composite index completely collapsed Monday, sources confirmed.

Newlywed Couple Looks So Deeply In Debt

CHICAGO—Saying that you could tell by the way they stared into each other’s eyes, friends and family of newlywed couple Patrick and Heather Vaughn told reporters Friday that the bride and groom look so deeply in debt.
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The Pros And Cons Of Early Retirement

With careful planning and prudent financial decisions, many Americans could retire before 65. The Onion weighs the pros and cons of such a decision:

  • Pro
    • Mystery of whether you’ll die above or below the poverty line finally revealed

    • Have ample time to visit parts of the world that will be underwater by the time your peers retire

    • Mid-afternoon dentist appointments a fucking breeze to schedule

    • Get to form bonds with the loved ones you neglected for years in dogged pursuit of early retirement

    • Contemplation of own mortality no longer restricted to evening hours

  • Con
    • Interest in some kind of hobby now mandatory

    • Earning potential the one thing you had to offer spouse, children

    • Your exit will skew the ideological composition of the court to the far right

    • The guys have one last job in the works, and it’s a big one

    • Life not all that great either way

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