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Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts

Jogger Clearly On First Run Of Plan To Turn Life Around

CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.

Marathon Training Tips

Running a marathon is a major life goal for many people, but it takes precise planning and extensive training to succeed in the 26.2-mile-long race. Here are some training tips for marathon hopefuls:
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Area Man Installs Home Pull-Up Bar To Absentmindedly Tap While Passing Through Hallway

CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying it has already become a fixture in his daily routine, local 27-year-old Greg Weise installed a home pull-up bar to absentmindedly tap while passing through the hallway, sources confirmed Tuesday. “This bar just slips right over almost any doorframe, so it’s really easy to inattentively tap it when I go in and out of my bedroom,” said Weise, who added that the bar’s padding is an excellent surface to idly drum his fingers on as he stands in the doorway. “It’s really convenient to be able to occasionally grab the bar and then lean really far forward to sort of stretch a little bit. Finally, I have something to latch onto and dangle from for a few seconds before returning to sorting my laundry.” At press time, Weise had reportedly also purchased a set of free weights to leave scattered on the ground and stub his toe on when he’s not looking.

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Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts

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