WASHINGTON—Calling it a glaring and unacceptable gap in the nation’s diet, an alarming study released Thursday by the Center for Science in the Public Interest revealed that hundreds of everyday food items remained unavailable in s’mores flavor.
VILLANOVA, PA—Confirming that it is the single most frequent thought on fathers’ minds, a study released Monday by researchers at Villanova University found that the average dad thinks about sealing in meat’s juices between four and five hours per day.
CAMDEN, NJ—Saying they were fed up with the numerous challenges stemming from their city’s extensive urban decay, Camden, NJ residents confirmed Wednesday that they would love to just skip to the part where they get a hip, revitalized restaurant scene.
McDonald’s has reintroduced its iconic Hamburgler character as a slickly dressed dad who moved to the suburbs to raise his family but is now tempted back into a life of crime after being reminded about McDonald’s hamburgers, a new identity that some internet users have said is sexy. What do you think?
A college student at the University of South Carolina was arrested after roommates set up a secret camera in their common space that recorded her spitting and spraying Windex into their food. What do you think?
POCATELLO, ID—Hailing our day and age as the “single greatest moment in history to be a potato consumer,” National Potato Council president Dan Lake declared Tuesday that the United States is in the midst of an unparalleled potato renaissance.
DEDHAM, MA—Noting how the man grinned with satisfaction after his Buffalo Chicken Ranch sandwich with a side of spiced panko onion rings arrived at his table, sources at Chili’s Grill & Bar confirmed Tuesday that local diner Matt Schoesse ...
EUGENE, OR—Noting the new food items in a small boxed-off corner of the overhead chalkboard, patrons at local coffee shop Fairmount Java told reporters Monday that the café had apparently added a heartbreaking little lunch menu.
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Tossing and turning way past his beddy-bye, delicate little man Jeremy Palazola was reportedly unable to sleep Tuesday night because he drank a teensy bit of coffee after four o’clock.
BLOOMINGTON, IN—Having found himself without others to interact with at a house party Wednesday, guest Ben Weaver reportedly attempted to enter a conversation by spending a few minutes just smiling and nodding at the edge of a circle of people.