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Disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings Not Living Up To Ridicule

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KFC Introduces New Previously Owned 20-Piece Hot Wings

LOUISVILLE, KY—In an effort to meet the changing demands of its consumers, fast-food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken announced Wednesday that it has begun offering customers the option of purchasing, at a significant discount, a 20-piece box of pre-owned hot wings.

Man Has Loyalty To Pretzel Brand

BROWNSVILLE, TX—Describing them as “the best pretzels out there” and “the only ones [he] buy[s],” local resident Ned Carlisle expressed his firm loyalty to Snyder’s of Hanover–brand pretzels Tuesday.

God Hurting After Eating 20-Piece Spicy Angel Wings

THE HEAVENS—Staring off into the middle distance for several minutes in obvious discomfort, The Lord Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, announced Monday that He was “hurting real bad” after consuming an entire 20-piece order of spicy angel wings.
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Disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings Not Living Up To Ridicule

LOS ANGELES—Describing the experience as a significant letdown, local diner Eric Tidwell told reporters that the disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings franchise he visited Thursday night failed to live up to the scorn he had long heard about the restaurant. “Sure, it was pretty bad and everything, but not nearly as horrible as I expected,” said the 32-year-old marketing manager, adding that the wings he ordered were only marginally worse than those served at most bars, and that the waitstaff wasn’t nearly as slow or inattentive as anticipated. “Everyone’s always talking about how much this place sucks—and it does—but it isn’t blow-you-away bad, you know? When I walked in here, I was expecting everything to be completely appalling, but even the atmosphere in this place is borderline tolerable. Overall, I thought it would be way shittier.” At press time, Tidwell admitted he was beginning to change his mind about the Buffalo Wild Wings as he felt the first sharp pains of a stomach ache.

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