gay & lesbian

Who Is Kim Davis?

Rowan County, KY clerk Kim Davis returned to work Monday after being jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples on religious grounds. Here’s what you need to know about the defiant public servant:

The Gay Rights Movement In America: A Timeline

The Supreme Court ruled in a 5-4 decision Friday that bans on gay marriage are unconstitutional, concluding decades of hard-fought battles by gay rights activists to grant marriage equality to all. Here is a timeline of milestones in the gay rights movement in the U.S.

Nation’s Homophobic Bigots Pack It In

‘Rules Are Rules,’ Say Those With Deeply Ingrained Prejudices

WASHINGTON—Following the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling that bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional, the nation’s homophobic bigots reportedly conceded today that “rules are rules” and announced that they were going to pack it in.

Walmart Vows To Defend Whichever Gays Buy Their Cheap Shit

BENTONVILLE, AR—Despite Governor Asa Hutchinson’s refusal to sign a controversial religious freedom bill that seemed to permit businesses to discriminate against homosexuals, officials from Arkansas-based retailer Walmart announced Wednesday t...

Gay Marriage State By State

The Supreme Court ruled this week that gay couples in Alabama will be allowed to marry in the months leading up to its ruling on the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, while other states continue to uphold bans.

Gay Man Unaware He Focus Of Thousands Of Prayers

SANTA ROSA, CA—Oblivious to the fact that he was being held in the hearts of Christian congregations across the country, 36-year-old gay man Andrew Fitzpatrick reportedly went about his grocery shopping Friday fully unaware that he was currently the...

Homosexuality Only Thing Parents Can Accept About Son

GRAND FORKS, ND—Expressing their deep disappointment with his behavior and lifestyle, local parents Jeff and Susan Lindegaard told reporters Tuesday that they are simply unable to accept anything about their 24-year-old son Henry aside from his homo...

Jock Scientists Discover Gay Gene In Carl

“It’s In His Butt,” Say Researchers

Researchers today took a break from bullying their colleague Carl to announce to the world that Carl is a little pansy boy and that they are sick of him.
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Father Showing Kids ‘Field Of Dreams’ For First Time Unaware Kevin Costner Sparking Son’s Sexual Awakening

WILKES-BARRE, PA—Oblivious to the intense feelings of arousal coursing through the pre-adolescent’s body, local man Pete Strahl reportedly introduced his children to the film Field Of Dreams Monday evening, not knowing that its male lead, played by Kevin Costner, was sparking his son’s sexual awakening. “This is an absolute classic—a real man’s movie,” said Strahl, handing his 10-year-old a bowl of popcorn as the film’s opening sequence, in which the sweat-drenched protagonist carries a heavy wood-handled hoe through rows of corn, unleashed a string of thoughts and urges in the child’s mind that he had never felt in his life and doesn’t quite understand yet. “The scene at the end always gives me chills. I hope you like it as much as I do.” After the movie was over, Strahl’s son reportedly went up to his bedroom and hesitantly typed the words “Costner in baseball uniform” into Google Images while struggling to grasp what was happening to him.


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