Who Is Kim Davis?

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gay & lesbian

The Gay Rights Movement In America: A Timeline

The Supreme Court ruled in a 5-4 decision Friday that bans on gay marriage are unconstitutional, concluding decades of hard-fought battles by gay rights activists to grant marriage equality to all. Here is a timeline of milestones in the gay rights movement in the U.S.

Nation’s Homophobic Bigots Pack It In

‘Rules Are Rules,’ Say Those With Deeply Ingrained Prejudices

WASHINGTON—Following the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling that bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional, the nation’s homophobic bigots reportedly conceded today that “rules are rules” and announced that they were going to pack it in.

Walmart Vows To Defend Whichever Gays Buy Their Cheap Shit

BENTONVILLE, AR—Despite Governor Asa Hutchinson’s refusal to sign a controversial religious freedom bill that seemed to permit businesses to discriminate against homosexuals, officials from Arkansas-based retailer Walmart announced Wednesday t...

Gay Marriage State By State

The Supreme Court ruled this week that gay couples in Alabama will be allowed to marry in the months leading up to its ruling on the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, while other states continue to uphold bans.
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House and Home

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.


  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Who Is Kim Davis?

Rowan County, KY clerk Kim Davis returned to work Monday after being jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples on religious grounds. Here’s what you need to know about the defiant public servant:

  • Nickname: Kimmers
  • Full Name: Not going to be signed for just anybody
  • Christian Denomination: Apoplectic
  • Occupation: Still weighing offers from every conservative news outlet and political group
  • Work Style: Unconstitutional
  • Primary Goal: Protect sanctity of traditional homophobia
  • Commitment To Loving Her Neighbor: Court-ordered
  • Stance On State Regulation Of Short-Term Vacation Rentals: Unstated
  • Job Security: A lot better than most Americans
  • Number Of Presidential Candidates Currently Vying For Her Endorsement: Don’t ask
  • 2014 Campaign Promise To Rowan County Voters: Turn unassuming government office into embarrassing international spectacle in less than year’s time
  • Sneaks In Some Secular Music Now And Then: Despite her better judgment
  • Last Time You Will Have To Hear About Her: November 8, 2016