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New Religious Freedom Bill Gives Small Business Owners Right To Annul Any Gay Marriage

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Who Is Kim Davis?

Rowan County, KY clerk Kim Davis returned to work Monday after being jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples on religious grounds. Here’s what you need to know about the defiant public servant:

The Gay Rights Movement In America: A Timeline

The Supreme Court ruled in a 5-4 decision Friday that bans on gay marriage are unconstitutional, concluding decades of hard-fought battles by gay rights activists to grant marriage equality to all. Here is a timeline of milestones in the gay rights movement in the U.S.

Nation’s Homophobic Bigots Pack It In

‘Rules Are Rules,’ Say Those With Deeply Ingrained Prejudices

WASHINGTON—Following the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling that bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional, the nation’s homophobic bigots reportedly conceded today that “rules are rules” and announced that they were going to pack it in.

Walmart Vows To Defend Whichever Gays Buy Their Cheap Shit

BENTONVILLE, AR—Despite Governor Asa Hutchinson’s refusal to sign a controversial religious freedom bill that seemed to permit businesses to discriminate against homosexuals, officials from Arkansas-based retailer Walmart announced Wednesday t...

Gay Marriage State By State

The Supreme Court ruled this week that gay couples in Alabama will be allowed to marry in the months leading up to its ruling on the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, while other states continue to uphold bans.

Gay Man Unaware He Focus Of Thousands Of Prayers

SANTA ROSA, CA—Oblivious to the fact that he was being held in the hearts of Christian congregations across the country, 36-year-old gay man Andrew Fitzpatrick reportedly went about his grocery shopping Friday fully unaware that he was currently the...

Homosexuality Only Thing Parents Can Accept About Son

GRAND FORKS, ND—Expressing their deep disappointment with his behavior and lifestyle, local parents Jeff and Susan Lindegaard told reporters Tuesday that they are simply unable to accept anything about their 24-year-old son Henry aside from his homo...

Jock Scientists Discover Gay Gene In Carl

“It’s In His Butt,” Say Researchers

Researchers today took a break from bullying their colleague Carl to announce to the world that Carl is a little pansy boy and that they are sick of him.
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New Religious Freedom Bill Gives Small Business Owners Right To Annul Any Gay Marriage

JEFFERSON CITY, MO—Saying the legislation would restore and protect religious freedoms that had been endangered in recent years by government action, religious liberty activists celebrated the passage Tuesday of a new Missouri law that grants the state’s small business owners the right to annul any marriage between a same-sex couple. “The religious rights of Missouri’s entrepreneurs have been disregarded for too long, but thanks to the Defense of Religious Freedom Act, now every shopkeeper in the state can legally invalidate any customer’s same-sex marriage if such a union violates the tenets of their faith,” said state legislator Greg Kirk, who explained that the bill allows proprietors to render null and void the marriage certificate of any wedded homosexual patron inside their place of business or within 100 feet of the storefront entrance. “This new legislation has nothing to do with any sort of prejudice against homosexuals; it’s about respecting the constitutional rights of citizens by giving them the choice of whether or not they wish to dissolve all legal ties of marriage between gay and lesbian couples whose unions stand in opposition to their deeply held convictions. It’s about protecting values.” According to sources, several state senators are also drafting a bill that gives Missouri citizens the right to cancel any woman’s birth control prescription if it infringes on their personal beliefs.

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