Girl Finally Speaking Up Enough For People To Critique Her Speaking Voice

Top Headlines


Sexist Pig Has No Idea When Team USA Playing Nigeria

‘What Round Is This Again?’ Misogynist Asshole Asks

NORTHFORD, CT—Revealing just how old-fashioned and small-minded he truly is, local sexist pig Jonathan Scott admitted Monday he has no idea what time the U.S. women’s soccer team plays Nigeria tomorrow night, sources reported.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Real Estate

Fantasy Sports

Girl Finally Speaking Up Enough For People To Critique Her Speaking Voice

TOPEKA, KS—Having finally built up the courage to raise her hand and voice her opinions in front of her peers and teachers, local 15-year-old Olivia Kushnick is reportedly now talking enough in class for others to begin criticizing her speaking voice, sources confirmed Monday. “She used to rarely say anything, but in the past couple weeks she’s grown confident enough to answer questions out loud, opening herself up to endless ridicule of her high-pitched, kind of childish-sounding voice,” said English teacher Pat Reese, noting that the ninth-grader’s slower-than-average delivery and tendency to trail off at the end of long sentences have been regularly mocked and derided by her classmates, as well as several of her teachers, since she began showing a willingness to participate in group discussions. “She often speaks with an inflection that makes it hard to tell if she’s making a statement or asking a question, which I frustratedly point out to her every time I hear it. Plus, she has kind of a nasally voice, which she really never hears the end of from the rest of the class.” When reached for comment, Kushnick told reporters she was considering going back to her old habit of stoically saying nothing throughout the school day when she was simply judged by others to be a stuck-up bitch.