adBlockCheck

gender

Area Man A Staunch Single-Gender Voter

JOHNSTOWN, PA—Saying it was the only factor he considered when deciding who to cast his ballot for, local man William Swanson, 44, told reporters Thursday he is strictly a single-gender voter.

A Primer On Everyday Sexism

Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination

A Timeline Of The Feminist Movement

Seeking equal representation of women in all facets of society, the feminist movement has found a prominent place in the national conversation and has evolved greatly from one decade to the next. The Onion looks at some of the movement’s critical milestones.

Man Entirely Different Misogynist Online Than In Real Life

CHATTANOOGA, TN—Explaining how his subtle belittlement and disrespect for women in face-to-face interactions had little in common with the bold, outspoken manner in which he degrades women when he’s on social media or website message boards, sources reported Tuesday that local man Colin McManus is a totally different misogynist online than in real life.

Study Finds Girls Outperforming Future Employers In School

NASHVILLE, TN—The results of a comprehensive multiyear study charting the educational achievement of children throughout the United States were released Friday, revealing that the nation’s girls are increasingly outperforming their future employers in all subjects.

Sexist Pig Has No Idea When Team USA Playing Nigeria

‘What Round Is This Again?’ Misogynist Asshole Asks

NORTHFORD, CT—Revealing just how old-fashioned and small-minded he truly is, local sexist pig Jonathan Scott admitted Monday he has no idea what time the U.S. women’s soccer team plays Nigeria tomorrow night, sources reported.
End Of Section
  • More News

Nation’s Schools To Ensure Bullied Transgender Students Hide In Stalls Of Bathrooms Corresponding To Biological Sex

WASHINGTON—Reversing federal guidelines to public schools issued by the Obama administration, Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced Thursday that states and local school districts would be charged with ensuring that bullied transgender students hide in bathroom stalls corresponding to their biological sex. “We need to make certain that harassed transgender students are fleeing to bathrooms consistent with the sex they were assigned at birth so that they can sit perfectly still with their feet pulled up on a toilet seat in an appropriate setting,” said Sessions, adding that transgender youths did not have the right to avoid imminent bodily harm in any bathroom stall they wanted. “If a student wishes to cower in a stall and muffle their sobbing because of the beating they’re certain to receive if discovered, they are welcome to—but only in facilities intended for their biological sex.” At press time, a number of transgender students told reporters they would have no choice but to leave campus in order to hide in bathroom stalls several times a day.

More from this section

Study Finds Girls Outperforming Future Employers In School

NASHVILLE, TN—The results of a comprehensive multiyear study charting the educational achievement of children throughout the United States were released Friday, revealing that the nation’s girls are increasingly outperforming their future employers in all subjects.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close