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Area Man A Staunch Single-Gender Voter

JOHNSTOWN, PA—Saying it was the only factor he considered when deciding who to cast his ballot for, local man William Swanson, 44, told reporters Thursday he is strictly a single-gender voter.

A Primer On Everyday Sexism

Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination

A Timeline Of The Feminist Movement

Seeking equal representation of women in all facets of society, the feminist movement has found a prominent place in the national conversation and has evolved greatly from one decade to the next. The Onion looks at some of the movement’s critical milestones.

Man Entirely Different Misogynist Online Than In Real Life

CHATTANOOGA, TN—Explaining how his subtle belittlement and disrespect for women in face-to-face interactions had little in common with the bold, outspoken manner in which he degrades women when he’s on social media or website message boards, sources reported Tuesday that local man Colin McManus is a totally different misogynist online than in real life.

Study Finds Girls Outperforming Future Employers In School

NASHVILLE, TN—The results of a comprehensive multiyear study charting the educational achievement of children throughout the United States were released Friday, revealing that the nation’s girls are increasingly outperforming their future employers in all subjects.

Sexist Pig Has No Idea When Team USA Playing Nigeria

‘What Round Is This Again?’ Misogynist Asshole Asks

NORTHFORD, CT—Revealing just how old-fashioned and small-minded he truly is, local sexist pig Jonathan Scott admitted Monday he has no idea what time the U.S. women’s soccer team plays Nigeria tomorrow night, sources reported.
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Report: More Americans Willing To Accept Female Wonder Woman

LOS ANGELES—Signaling a dramatic shift in public opinion, a new report released Monday by the Entertainment Research Council revealed that more Americans than ever are willing to accept a female Wonder Woman. “Our poll shows that a record 64 percent of moviegoers in the U.S. are now comfortable with the idea of Wonder Woman being a woman,” said the report’s lead author, Rebecca Pohlman, explaining that in the past decade the nation has grown more supportive of a female Diana, Princess of Themyscira, even though as recently as 1990 less than 10 percent of Americans thought an actress should play the part of the Amazonian superhero. “Still, this remains a highly polarizing issue, as 31 percent of those surveyed claimed they couldn’t possibly imagine Wonder Woman as anything other than a male. Even a sizable minority of those who said they were potentially open to a female Wonder Woman said they would remain skeptical until they could judge the portrayal with their own eyes.” While the poll suggested that the nation was increasingly receptive to women taking on more diverse roles, the survey also found that only 28 percent of Americans were amenable to a black Black Panther.

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Study Finds Girls Outperforming Future Employers In School

NASHVILLE, TN—The results of a comprehensive multiyear study charting the educational achievement of children throughout the United States were released Friday, revealing that the nation’s girls are increasingly outperforming their future employers in all subjects.

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