adBlockCheck

health

Yellow Cross Receives Record 10,000 Liters Of Urine Donations

NEW YORK—Saying they were elated with the number of people who took time out of their day to relieve themselves for a good cause, officials at the Yellow Cross announced Wednesday that the organization received a record 10,000 liters of urine during its annual spring donation drive.

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.

Health Scare Prompts Man To Start Overeating Healthier

ROUND ROCK, TX—Having recently learned from his doctor that he suffered from high blood pressure and elevated cholesterol levels that put him at serious risk for cardiovascular disease and stroke, 43-year-old Donald Fisher told reporters Thursday the unanticipated health scare had prompted him to start overeating healthier.

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
End Of Section
  • More News

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close