Mortgage Relief Bill Provisions

President Bush signed a housing bill into law last week that is designed to assist borrowers facing foreclosure on their homes. What are some...

Home Sales Dropping

For the third straight month, sales on preexisting homes dropped, leading realtors to call it a "buyer's market." Here are some strategies sellers...

Tenants Forced To Clean Apartment Before Telling Landlord About Mice

BILLINGS, MT—The three roommates residing at 320 Sycamore Ave. #4 were forced to thoroughly clean up their living space before they could inform landlord George Hayton that it was infested with mice, the tenants said Tuesday. "We don't want slumlord George acting like the mice are our fault," said Keith Paucek, 20, as he hauled four garbage bags to the curb. "He's just the kind of guy to make some comment about there being three weeks' worth of dishes in the sink." Paucek last avoided the landlord's criticism by removing the grill and charred couch before asking him to replace the porch.

Living Out Of Your Car Is A Dying Art

In the past 20 years, I've lived in nine different homes and 14 different cities. No, I'm not some fancy millionaire who jets around from place to place. I don't even own a suit for funerals. Rather, I'm one of a dying breed. I live out of my car, and I do it with pride.

New Roommate Has Lots Of Big Redecorating Ideas

LAS CRUCES, NM—Dave Beckman, the newest tenant of a three-bedroom apartment in the Lincoln Crest complex, has offered numerous redecorating tips "to make the place more livable," long-time inhabitants Andrew Kiely and Marcus Linkater said Monday.

Home-Buying Tips

Buying a home is one of the biggest investments a person makes in life. Here are some tips to help you make the right decision.

Tenants Feel Guilty Asking Elderly Maintenance Man To Fix Anything

BOSTON–Tenants in the apartment building at 437 Market St. reported Monday that they experience a gnawing feeling of guilt every time they ask Hank Hudson, the 82-year-old maintenance man, to repair anything. "The other day, my sink was clogged and, at first, I was going to ask Hank to fix it," Apt. 4B tenant Julie Winters said Monday. "Then I remembered the time he repaired the furnace and coughed for weeks afterwards. In the end, I just bought a snake and did it myself."
End Of Section
  • More News

Pros And Cons Of The ‘Tiny House’ Movement

Many Americans are moving into extremely small living quarters, simplifying their lives and putting less focus on material goods. The Onion examines the pros and cons of “tiny houses”:

  • Pro
    • Paints inability to afford a real home as positive life choice

    • Allows you to live the simple life your ancestors did everything in their power to escape

    • Likely too cramped for ghosts to bother haunting

    • Refrigerator as close to bed as you’ve always dreamed

    • 4’-by-3’ velvet Allman Brothers Band poster gets the decorating job done on its own

    • Home comes fully supplied with 20 years of small talk

  • Con
    • Anxious pacing route severely restricted

    • Spending quality time with family members all but unavoidable

    • Meticulously charting out who gets to use the electrical outlet each night can be somewhat draining

    • Most documentaries on the subject already wrapped

    • Lack of diversity in a neighborhood composed entirely of other people whose novels didn’t sell

    • Have to live there


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.