The Pros And Cons Of Affirmative Action

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47 Weak-Willed Senators Bend To Interests Of Powerful American People

WASHINGTON—Saying the closely watched Senate vote clearly demonstrated where the elected officials’ loyalties lay, political observers confirmed that 47 weak-willed lawmakers bent to the interests of the powerful American public Monday by voting in favor of measures that would bar anyone on government terror watchlists from purchasing firearms.

Resolute Congress Passes Second Amendment Again

WASHINGTON—Easily securing the requisite two-thirds majorities in the House and Senate, a resolute United States Congress responded to the ongoing national debate on gun rights Tuesday by passing the Second Amendment again.

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The ongoing clashes between residents of Ferguson, MO and heavily armed police forces—which are equipped with M16 rifles and armored vehicles—have drawn attention to the increasing militarization of police in the United States.
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The Pros And Cons Of Affirmative Action

The Supreme Court upheld a challenge to the University of Texas at Austin’s affirmative action program Thursday, reigniting debate over the merits of policies that favor members of groups frequently targeted by discrimination. Here are the pros and cons of affirmative action:


  • Diversifies bank’s pool of future student loan debtors
  • Allows white people to feel good about the places they go to school
  • Most convenient way for racists to call into question minorities’ achievements
  • Protects equality in the workplace for next few years until androids replace entire U.S. workforce
  • Intermediate Fiction Seminar could really benefit from having a wider variety of voices
  • Easiest way for nation to skate by doing the bare minimum to address pervasive racial inequality


  • Nation’s long history of racial grievances already solved by Civil Rights Act of 1957
  • Distracts from true measures of academic preparedness, such as SAT scores and parents’ presence on school’s alumni board
  • Acknowledges existence of race
  • Some students might arrive on campus unprepared for the cutthroat sorority rush process
  • My Declan definitely should’ve gotten into Penn
  • Is potentially unfavorable to a different group of people than usual

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