adBlockCheck

Wow, Dad Really Went From Zero To 60 With Woodworking This Summer

Top Headlines

Lifestyle

Tips For Dealing With Roommates

Living with other people can be a challenge, especially when you don’t agree on how to share the common space. Here are The Onion’s tips for dealing with roommates:

Disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings Not Living Up To Ridicule

LOS ANGELES—Describing the experience as a significant letdown, local diner Eric Tidwell told reporters that the disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings franchise he visited Thursday night failed to live up to the scorn he had long heard about the restaurant.

Wedding Guest Etiquette Tips

Attending a wedding comes with its own set of social graces. The Onion provides a list of basic rules of etiquette for being a polite, congenial wedding guest

How To Prepare A Will

Writing a will ensures the proper distribution of your assets upon your death. The Onion takes you through the steps of preparing this important document

Cover Letter Writing Tips

While a résumé can display your past work experiences, a cover letter is your chance to show prospective employers who you really are and what you bring to the table. Here are The Onion’s tips for writing a memorable cover letter

Budget Travel Tips

With the bloated cost of airfare and hotels, many people are looking to save on travel however they can. Here are The Onion’s tips for planning a memorable vacation without overspending.

The Pros And Cons Of Taking A Gap Year

Malia Obama will wait a year between graduating high school and attending Harvard in 2017, in what is becoming a rising trend among American students. Here are the pros and cons of taking a gap year:

Weddings vs. Eloping

Many couples who don’t want to put the time and money toward a wedding simply run off and get married in secret. Here is a side-by-side comparison of planning a wedding and eloping
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Wow, Dad Really Went From Zero To 60 With Woodworking This Summer

PAGE, AZ—Expressing their astonishment as they once again heard the sound of their father using his circular saw in the garage despite his seemingly complete lack of interest in the craft prior to last month, the children of area man Sam Morgan, 52, confirmed Tuesday that, wow, their dad had really gone from zero to 60 with woodworking this summer. “I don’t know if I’d ever heard Dad mention anything about wood or carpentry or anything like that before a couple weeks ago, but now he’s constantly saying things like ‘dovetail joints’ and talking about picking wood with a good grain on it,” said son Kyle Morgan, 15, recounting he and his siblings’ surprise last weekend when their father emerged from the garage with a relatively basic but functional magazine rack. “And just the other day, he took a look at a broken part of the railing on the back deck and said he could probably fix it himself. Who the hell is he all of a sudden?” According to reports, Morgan’s children later glanced at each other in bewilderment as their father got up from the dinner table, grabbed a can of varnish and a rag, and told them he ought to “get back to [his] projects.”

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close