A Look At The Class Of 2019

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Tips For Choosing The Right Veterinarian

Bringing a pet into your life is a rewarding experience, though it also involves finding someone you trust to provide capable medical care. Here are The Onion’s tips for choosing the right veterinarian:

Tips For Handling A Picky Eater

Having a child who refuses to eat most foods can be both frustrating and alarming for parents, but there are ways to work through this phase as a family. Here are The Onion’s tips for handling a picky eater

Lone Tent A Dark Harbinger Of Looming Street Festival

BOSTON—Arriving suddenly overnight without any prior warning, a solitary pop-up tent was reportedly seen standing forebodingly at the corner of Endicott and Thacher Streets this morning, its bleak 10’-by-10’ form and the single folding table set up beneath it serving as a dark harbinger of a street festival to come.
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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

A Look At The Class Of 2019

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2019, with the majority of students born in the year 1997. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

  • Most were only 12 years old when 2009 happened
  • 64th consecutive generation to save Texas Instruments from bankruptcy
  • They have never known a time when the majestic woolly mammoth roamed the Great Plains
  • Average of 3 students per class named after Korn guitarist James “Munky” Shaffer
  • Chalkboards, paper books, and VHS tapes are all items they’ve been told they don’t remember or recognize
  • Al Roker at a non-lethal body weight for over half their lives
  • More of these students than any before will be the second, third, or fourth generation of their families to inherit crippling student loan debt
  • Do not personally know anyone who perished in the Y2K disaster
  • More or less indistinguishable from the class of 2018