Black Man Bids Tearful Goodbye To Family Before Daily Commute

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Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.

Man Pushed Off Plate Of Chicken Wings By Larger Male

WARMINSTER, PA—Looking on as the intense display of aggressive behavior played out over several minutes, sources at Flannigan’s Bar & Grill confirmed Thursday that local man Pete Samuelson was pushed off a plate of buffalo wings by a much larger alpha male.
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Black Man Bids Tearful Goodbye To Family Before Daily Commute

MILWAUKEE—Frequently choking back tears, African-American computer technician Michael Shaw bid an emotional goodbye to his wife and 6-year-old son before making his morning commute Thursday, sources confirmed. “I don’t know when or if I’ll see you guys next, so I just want you to know how much I love you,” Shaw said, his voice breaking as he prepared to embark on the 25-minute trip, including a stop at a Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru, from which he might not return. “Kevin, you take care of Mommy. Whatever might happen before I get to the office, you have to be strong, okay?” According to sources, Shaw then grabbed his briefcase and his car keys and took one last look over his shoulder before opening the front door and walking down the lawn to the driveway.