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Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.

Weddings vs. Eloping

Many couples who don’t want to put the time and money toward a wedding simply run off and get married in secret. Here is a side-by-side comparison of planning a wedding and eloping

Nation’s Homophobic Bigots Pack It In

‘Rules Are Rules,’ Say Those With Deeply Ingrained Prejudices

WASHINGTON—Following the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling that bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional, the nation’s homophobic bigots reportedly conceded today that “rules are rules” and announced that they were going to pack it in.

Wedding Guest Blissfully Unaware She Barely Made The Cut

CARLISLE, PA—Saying she was having a “wonderful time” as she danced and socialized with fellow guests Saturday night, wedding-goer Corinne Bauer was said to be blissfully unaware she had barely made the cut to receive an invitation.

Wedding Planner Suggests Replacing Unsightly Groom

NASHVILLE, TN—Saying that a lot of brides don’t give enough thought to such an important detail and end up regretting it later, local wedding planner Maureen Crompton suggested that her client Ali Peterson consider replacing the unsightly groo...
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Nation’s Sexual Degenerates Impatient For Gay Marriage Slippery Slope To Kick In

WASHINGTON—Assuming they’d be stripping away the moral fabric of society almost immediately after the Supreme Court’s 2015 decision to legalize same-sex marriage, the nation’s degenerates reported Monday that they have grown impatient for the gay marriage slippery slope to kick in. “We were promised that when gay marriage was legalized, it’d only be a matter of time before sickos like me would be having sex with our pets—well, I’ve got a dog and a cat I still haven’t fucked,” said an exasperated Alan Beleski, 42, one of the deviants from across the country who told reporters they were tired of waiting for the inevitable collapse in decency that would normalize acts such as bestiality, incest, and necrophilia. “Goddammit, what’s taking so long? When gay marriages were finally recognized in this country, I thought, ‘Hell yeah! I can finally openly proclaim my love for my sex doll, and I can also legally marry five other dolls because polygamy’s A-okay, too.’ But all that seems like a million years ago.” At press time, the nation’s degenerates took small comfort in states like Massachusetts where, with parental and court approval, a child can be married off at any age.

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