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marriage

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.

Weddings vs. Eloping

Many couples who don’t want to put the time and money toward a wedding simply run off and get married in secret. Here is a side-by-side comparison of planning a wedding and eloping

Nation’s Homophobic Bigots Pack It In

‘Rules Are Rules,’ Say Those With Deeply Ingrained Prejudices

WASHINGTON—Following the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling that bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional, the nation’s homophobic bigots reportedly conceded today that “rules are rules” and announced that they were going to pack it in.

Wedding Guest Blissfully Unaware She Barely Made The Cut

CARLISLE, PA—Saying she was having a “wonderful time” as she danced and socialized with fellow guests Saturday night, wedding-goer Corinne Bauer was said to be blissfully unaware she had barely made the cut to receive an invitation.

Wedding Planner Suggests Replacing Unsightly Groom

NASHVILLE, TN—Saying that a lot of brides don’t give enough thought to such an important detail and end up regretting it later, local wedding planner Maureen Crompton suggested that her client Ali Peterson consider replacing the unsightly groo...

Newlywed Couple Looks So Deeply In Debt

CHICAGO—Saying that you could tell by the way they stared into each other’s eyes, friends and family of newlywed couple Patrick and Heather Vaughn told reporters Friday that the bride and groom look so deeply in debt.
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Man In Kitchen Can’t Remember What He Got Married, Bought House, Had 3 Kids, And Came In Here For

PENSACOLA, FL—Taking a moment to focus and get his bearings, local man Pete Harrington reportedly stood in the middle of his kitchen Monday trying to remember what he got married, bought a house, had three kids, and went in there for. “Hold on, there has to be a reason I proposed to Michelle, spent $500,000 on a home, started a family, and opened the pantry,” Harrington reportedly said to himself, struggling to recall what he was thinking 10 years, eight years, seven years, and two minutes ago. “Okay, I gave up my life as a bachelor, found a stable 9-to-5 job, put down roots in the suburbs, and walked in here, but I just can’t put my finger on why—oh well, I’m sure it’ll come to me eventually.” At press time, Harrington was carefully retracing his steps back to New Year’s Eve 2001.

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