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What’s Inside Trump’s Tax Returns

Donald Trump’s aides have confirmed that the Republican presidential nominee will not release his tax returns despite numerous public calls for him to honor the expectation of transparency for presidential hopefuls. Here are some of the potentially damning contents that Trump prefers not to release to the public

Financially Struggling Trump Campaign Holds Fundraising Riot

NEWARK, NJ—Having raised only $3.1 million last month despite clinching the Republican nomination and with just $1.3 million on hand, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign sought a much-needed injection of cash Wednesday by holding a fundraising riot in Newark, sources confirmed.

The Pros And Cons Of For-Profit Colleges

With studies showing that for-profit college degrees create more debt and no more added value for students, many are questioning the merits of these institutions. Here are the pros and cons of for-profit colleges

Budget Travel Tips

With the bloated cost of airfare and hotels, many people are looking to save on travel however they can. Here are The Onion’s tips for planning a memorable vacation without overspending.

Upcoming Changes To U.S. Currency

Secretary of the Treasury Jack Lew recently announced a series of significant changes to U.S. currency. Here are some of the more notable alterations on the horizon

Head Of IRS Has Personal Filing System To Keep Track Of Nation’s Tax Returns

Commissioner’s Office Cluttered With 100 Million Folders

WASHINGTON—Pointing out the towering stacks of manila folders cluttering his desk and stepping carefully around the millions of forms laid out on his office floor, Commissioner of the Internal Revenue Service John Koskinen showed reporters Thursday his own personal filing system for keeping track of everyone in the nation’s tax returns.
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Report: Bellagio Voted Best Casino For Standing Around Too Nervous To Approach A Poker Table

LAS VEGAS—Praising it as the perfect destination for the trepidatious gambler, a new poll released Wednesday in Casino Player magazine voted the Bellagio the best casino for standing around too nervous to approach a poker table. “Our readers overwhelmingly agree that the Bellagio Resort is the number-one spot for would-be poker players to anxiously fiddle with their $100 in chips while staring at the tables from a safe distance,” wrote editor J. Phillip Vogel, noting that the room’s ornate columns and large crowds serve as safe barriers behind which guests can stall as they worry about how much more experienced everyone else appears and how likely they are to reveal themselves as complete novices to their great embarrassment. “People come from all over the world to dawdle at the multiple bars, which allow them to repeatedly grab another drink to calm their nerves after chickening out of their latest promise to themselves that they would claim the next seat that opened up. Furthermore, the room is always crowded with longtime veterans intensely focused on their games, decreasing the likelihood of any employee making eye contact with you and subsequently offering to escort you to a table.” The same issue of Casino Player also named the mojito at the Bellagio the best drink for spilling at the table to distract dealers as you count cards.

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The Pros And Cons Of For-Profit Colleges

With studies showing that for-profit college degrees create more debt and no more added value for students, many are questioning the merits of these institutions. Here are the pros and cons of for-profit colleges

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