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What’s Inside Trump’s Tax Returns

Donald Trump’s aides have confirmed that the Republican presidential nominee will not release his tax returns despite numerous public calls for him to honor the expectation of transparency for presidential hopefuls. Here are some of the potentially damning contents that Trump prefers not to release to the public

Financially Struggling Trump Campaign Holds Fundraising Riot

NEWARK, NJ—Having raised only $3.1 million last month despite clinching the Republican nomination and with just $1.3 million on hand, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign sought a much-needed injection of cash Wednesday by holding a fundraising riot in Newark, sources confirmed.

The Pros And Cons Of For-Profit Colleges

With studies showing that for-profit college degrees create more debt and no more added value for students, many are questioning the merits of these institutions. Here are the pros and cons of for-profit colleges

Budget Travel Tips

With the bloated cost of airfare and hotels, many people are looking to save on travel however they can. Here are The Onion’s tips for planning a memorable vacation without overspending.

Upcoming Changes To U.S. Currency

Secretary of the Treasury Jack Lew recently announced a series of significant changes to U.S. currency. Here are some of the more notable alterations on the horizon
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Experts Report $37 Amount Of Money You Need To Donate To Hurricane Relief In Order To Completely Forget About It

WASHINGTON—Saying that the charitable contribution would immediately provide a clear conscience, experts reported Friday that you need to donate $37 to hurricane relief in order to completely forget about what happened. “Concerned individuals have been asking what they can do to stop feeling bad about hurricane victims, so everyone should know that a $37 donation is sufficient to allow you to move on from the disaster once and for all,” said nonprofit analyst Sandra Western, adding that a donation in that amount entitles the giver to avoid any further media coverage of the hurricane and not feel any kind of shame about the degree to which they were helping. “You can donate $25, but the notion that you could have done more might nag at you for a bit. At $37, however, you’ll be able to tell yourself you pitched in when some truly desperate people needed you most and then never think about them again. In addition, if you donate $65 or more, you can also sit out the next catastrophe with no guilt whatsoever.” Western went on to say that the guidelines did not apply to selfish assholes, who could donate nothing and immediately forget the devastation anyway.

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