ROCHESTER, NY—During a meeting with new hires Wednesday to discuss employee benefits, Radian Analytics human resources manager Ellen Schultz is said to have strongly pushed the company’s infinite-deductible health care option.
WASHINGTON—Admitting the startling discovery had compelled him to reexamine his long-held beliefs, His Holiness Pope Francis announced Tuesday that he had reversed his critical stance toward capitalism after seeing the immense variety of Oreos available in the United States.
LOS ANGELES—Noting that ticket sales nationwide have fallen to a 20-year low, a study published Friday by the Motion Picture Association of America found that movie theater attendance continues to decline as more Americans choose to act out films at home.
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Saying their findings pertained to every denomination of banknote, researchers at Harvard University released a study Friday confirming that the majority of paper currency in the United States has been in direct contact with at least one financial executive’s nude body at some point during its circulation.
FORT WAYNE, IN—Grinning with contentment as he reminisced about the call he placed earlier in the day, 31-year-old accountant Greg Schulhoff told reporters Thursday that his 45-minute phone call with MasterCard regarding late payment fees went “really great.”
HARRISBURG, PA—Claiming that the price of the incredible idea far exceeded his emotional investment in his relationship, local man Alex Ramsey said Wednesday that an extravagant romantic gesture he has in mind is too expensive to waste on his current girlfriend.
WASHINGTON—Calling the program “the most crucial in the agency’s history,” researchers at NASA announced Wednesday they have successfully deployed a Special Exploratory Rover to Congress as part of an open-ended mission to seek out any possible trace of funding on Capitol Hill.
WASHINGTON—Citing “nearly unlimited” opportunities for the nation’s currency, an encouraging study released Tuesday by the Brookings Institution found that it has never been easier for U.S. dollars to enter the richest segment of American society.
ST. LOUIS—Emphasizing that a new venue to replace the 19-year-old Edward Jones Dome is an absolute necessity, St. Louis Rams owner Stan Kroenke revealed Monday that the team will be forced to relocate as soon as 2016 unless taxpayers build a new stadium with their bare hands.
BAY LAKE, FL—Citing the 75 percent increase in ticket prices over the past decade, a report published Thursday by consumer research firm McGann & Associates found that the rising cost of admission to Walt Disney World is prompting more parents to leave their children at home when visiting the popular resort.
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
PHILADELPHIA—Saying that the trend signals a major shift in the media landscape, a report issued Thursday by the University of Pennsylvania revealed that a growing number of Americans are turning to louder sources for their news.