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Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: This Movie Old Enough That They Might Have Actually Hurt Dog

GARDNER, MA—Realizing the movie was probably made years before any sort of mandatory industry oversight, nervous viewers watching a Turner Classic Movies airing of ‘Home On The Range’ Sunday night told reporters that the classic western was old enough that the filmmakers might have actually hurt the dog that starred in the motion picture.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:
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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of La La Land as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, Moonlight. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

  • Q: What is PricewaterhouseCoopers?

    A: A $35.9 billion professional services network that handles business consulting, tax planning and compliance, actuarial advisement, and printing out slips of paper for celebrities to read.

  • Q: Who is to blame for the mixup?

    A: All of us for putting so much pressure on the academy.

  • Q: So presenter Warren Beatty isn’t at fault?

    A: In this one situation, apparently not.

  • Q: Is this the first time such a mistake has been made?

    A: No, awarding the wrong film is a time-honored Oscars tradition.

  • Q: How is the cast of 'La La Land' handling the upset?

    A: The cast and crew are doing their best to cope with the shame and embarrassment of sweeping the Golden Globes and winning six of their record 14 Academy Awards nominations.

  • Q: What will be done to prevent similar mistakes from happening in the future?

    A: Academy president Cheryl Boone Isaacs confirmed that the Best Picture category will be scrapped at future ceremonies.

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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

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