adBlockCheck

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

Top Headlines

movies

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history

Netflix To Temporarily Remove Every Movie Except ‘Hard Eight’

‘Everyone Should See It At Least Once,’ Company Says

LOS GATOS, CA—Saying that everyone, including all 65 million of its subscribers, really ought to see the film at least once, Netflix announced Tuesday that it will suspend all streaming content except Hard Eight for a full month.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie. “I have every detail laid out in my head, from all the subtle nuances of the film’s protagonist who Paramount executives will deem too complex and unlikable and demand I edit into a bland two-dimensional caricature, to the precise staging of key plot-building sequences that I’ll be forced to cut in their entirety due to length concerns,” said Stanton, who acknowledged he has spent more than a year envisioning every bit of dialogue of the hostile exchanges he will have with top studio brass regarding budgeting and script rewrites. “I already have a well-known actor in mind who some businessperson is going to insist I cast despite the fact that he’s totally wrong for the role. And I can break down any scene in the movie and tell you exactly, shot by shot, how I’ll be instructed to refilm it.” Stanton added that if production goes as anticipated, his immense frustration and disappointment should be ready for public release some time next year.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close