GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Americans across the nation told reporters Wednesday that with the collapse of Muammar Qaddafi’s despotic regime, they were preparing to savor the next month or so of Libya seeming like an inspirational symbol of freedom.
TRIPOLI—Rebel forces hoping to oust Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi confirmed Tuesday that they were having difficulties coordinating their rebellion while still working a full 40-hour week at their other jobs.
TRIPOLI—In the midst of widespread unrest, Libyan president Muammar Qaddafi convened his closest advisers Tuesday and asked them to be totally honest about whether they thought his brutal crackdown against his own people made him a bad person.
WASHINGTON—Interrupting a meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on Tuesday, Vice President Joe Biden called dibs on the clothes of Muammar Qaddafi, saying he wanted first pick of the Libyan dictator's wardrobe as soon as he was deposed.
TRIPOLI—In an act of reciprocity they called "vital to the future of our nation," the leaders of the rebel uprising in Libya said this week they would come up with something for 68-year-old dictator Muammar Qaddafi to do all day if he agre...
'We're Getting The Hell Out Of This Sewer,' Entire Populace Reports
NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having simultaneously realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.
ANN ARBOR, MI—Explaining that it’s just more convenient, local man Andrew Gomez told reporters Thursday that he’s gotten in the habit of placing a glass of water on his bedside table before he goes to sleep in case he needs to make a hug...
CHICAGO—Unable to picture where in the Grand Realm the destroyed fortress was in relation to the dreaded desert of Quiltar, a fully grown adult man referred to the map on the opening pages of the fantasy novel The Tower Of Astalon Friday to d...
ELK RAPIDS, MI—The insight abruptly springing to mind as the bird took flight, a local goose suddenly realized Wednesday that it doesn’t have to honk like an idiot the entire time it’s flapping its wings.