Scientists Find Strong Link Between Male Virility, Wearing Mötley Crüe Denim Jacket

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New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse

SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi...

Avoiding Popular Songs Somehow Accomplishment For Local Man

OAKLAND, CA—Speaking with evident pride as he mentioned how he doesn’t listen to the radio, local man Dan Mills appeared to be under the impression that his avoidance of mainstream music was somehow a noteworthy accomplishment, sources confirm...

Study: Not Many Disco Songs About Daytime

NEW YORK—In perhaps the most comprehensive analysis yet of the genre’s lyrical content, a Columbia University study published Friday found that very few disco songs have been written about daytime. The survey, which encompassed every known dis...
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