Is The Nation Ready For The Next Katrina?

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natural disasters

Local Family Homeless After Tornado Destroys White House

'We've Lost Everything,' Family Says

WASHINGTON—"My God, just look at this," the 48-year-old government employee said as he surveyed the splintered furniture and mangled chandeliers that littered the 18-acre property. "Everything is gone. Our clothes, our family photos, the federal budget for fiscal year 2011—it's all gone."

It Only Tuesday

WASHINGTON, DC—Tuesday's arrival stunned a nation still recovering from Monday's nightmarish slog, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going to end.

Men, Boys Separated

CORNING, KS—The male population of a Kansas town was effectively separated into categorically distinct groupings by displaying either...
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Is The Nation Ready For The Next Katrina?

Friday marks the 10-year anniversary of when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, and many commentators have argued that not enough has been done over the past decade to address infrastructure and emergency response issues that could put coastal cities nationwide, including New Orleans, at risk of a catastrophe on a similar scale. Here’s how experts recommend we prepare for the next Katrina:

  • Cities can adequately prepare residents for life after a natural disaster by razing low-income neighborhoods beforehand
  • Every household should have an emergency storm preparedness kit that includes an extra five stories of elevation
  • Learning from the humiliation of Katrina, FEMA has stockpiled almost 10,000 body bags to avoid any potential shortages
  • Every family should designate a fixed point to gather to watch disaster footage on TV
  • Citizens nationwide can prepare for disasters by having a stash of sympathetic Facebook posts and tweets ready to go
  • To avoid the most devastating effects, coastal areas must be proactive before a storm by engaging in diplomacy with it while it is still offshore
  • Alpha Phi must go on spring break in New Orleans now before it’s too late
  • The most at-risk residents along shorelines are encouraged to board up their orifices with plywood and tie themselves down at all times
  • Above all, federal, state, and local governments must work in partnership in order to comprehensively botch an emergency response together