adBlockCheck

Deion Sanders Recalls Starting Out As NFL Network Researcher

Top Headlines

news media

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

Only News Source Man Trusts Has Logo Of Eyeball In Crosshairs

FULLERTON, CA—Noting that he relies upon the website every day to keep himself apprised of important national and global events, sources confirmed Thursday that the only news outlet local man Andrew Howland trusts uses an image of an eyeball in crosshairs as its logo.

Facebook Clarifies Site Not Intended To Be Users’ Primary Information Source

‘No One Should Really Be On Here More Than 15 Minutes A Day,’ Say Executives

MENLO PARK, CA—Addressing concerns about the site’s alleged bias in how it displays news stories in users’ feeds, Facebook executives held a press conference Thursday to clarify that the social network was not intended to serve as anyone’s primary source of information, and that its 1.6 billion active users should, at most, be spending 15 minutes on the platform in a given day in the first place.

Defunct 4-Year-Old Sports Blog Still Lurking On Internet

FORT COLLINS, CO—Noting that the site devoted to the Colorado Rockies and their minor league affiliates had long ceased being updated without any explanation, sources confirmed Friday that local man Ben Gutowski’s defunct four-year-old sports blog, “The Rockies Report,” was still quietly lurking on the internet.

‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Deion Sanders Recalls Starting Out As NFL Network Researcher

CULVER CITY, CA—Reflecting on how far he has come in his career, football analyst Deion Sanders told reporters Wednesday about his experience starting out at the NFL Network as a researcher. “It wasn’t easy to start at the bottom like that—there were plenty of late nights in the stacks compiling passing stats for every team and combing through player bios for facts to use in the broadcast,” said Sanders, adding that after joining the network in 2006, he worked for nearly two and a half years in an entry-level role before being promoted to segment producer, which eventually led to an audition for an on-air role. “If you screwed something up, or didn’t have the research packets organized and color-coded the way Rich [Eisen] and the other guys liked it, you’d never hear the end of it from the executive producers. I sure didn’t love getting coffee for Brian Billick and Steve Mariucci every morning, or pulling footage from old games to use for pregame highlights, but that’s how I cut my teeth here.” Sanders added that he is incredibly grateful to have gotten the chance to advance at the network and isn’t still stuck working as a production assistant like Curtis Martin.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close