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North Korea

World Surrenders To North Korea

PYONGYANG—Following reports earlier this morning that the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea successfully conducted its third nuclear test, sources confirmed that every nation on the planet has surrendered to the mighty East Asian dictators...

Kim Jong-Un's Wife Escapes North Korea In Long-Range Missile

PYONGYANG—Following North Korea’s sudden and controversial launch of a long-range rocket Wednesday morning, reports have confirmed that Ri Sol-ju, the wife of leader Kim Jong-un, successfully jumped inside the missile just in time to escape the com...
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Nuclear Warhead Thrilled For Chance To Finally Escape North Korea

PYONGYANG—Saying its spirits were immediately buoyed upon hearing Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un’s recent statement that the military was close to developing an intercontinental ballistic missile, a North Korean nuclear warhead reported Tuesday that it was thrilled for the chance to finally escape the country. “I don’t want to get my hopes up too high, but I can’t help but daydream about how amazing it would be to get the hell out of this place,” the 30-kiloton weapon told reporters, revealing that it had begun to worry it would never get out of its dingy silo, leave the impoverished and repressive nation behind, and flee to the West. “It’d be great to make it to the U.S.—maybe California or Seattle—but Europe would be fine by me, too. I’d even go to Japan, just as long as I get to leave here for good.” At press time, the nuclear weapon was expressing disappointment that it was still locked up while a nearby chemical warhead was readying to make an escape across the southern border.

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