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New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It

Let Someone Else Report On This Bullshit

NEW YORK—While millions of young, tech-savvy professionals already use services like Facebook and Twitter to keep in constant touch with friends, a new social networking platform called Foursquare has recently taken the oh, fucking hell, can't some other desperate news outlet cover this crap instead?

Online Couple Never Chats Anymore

Seattle—"Sometimes I wonder what I ever saw in his online profile," said Baxter, who couldn’t remember the last time she and Tim Siegal really ‘LOLed’ together.
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Highly Anticipated Launches At SXSW Interactive

Every year at South by Southwest, companies roll out their latest interactive media. Here's what to look for this year:

  • YouTube: All-new site design features a small clock in the upper left corner that keeps track of the cumulative amount of your life you've wasted
  • Wikimedia: New WikiBible will allow anyone to add to, or edit, this open-source holy book
  • The Social Network: Launch of actor Jesse Eisenberg's controversial SocialNetwork social networking site
  • Video Professor: New CD-ROM to help you get started on Chatroulette
  • eHarmony: In addition to showing people their most compatible matches, the online dating site will now display each member's last-resort match
  • Apple: New version of iTunes will take the songs you haven't listened to in a while and sell them to someone else
  • MySpace: Six awesome new background layouts!
  • Yakagami: Someone's trying to make that virtual pet thing happen again

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