The Onion's Finest Photojournalism Of 2012

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Our Annual Year 2012

The Onion's Other Top Newsmakers Of 2012

Greg Ogletree: The Man Inside The Mars Rover NASA employee Greg Ogletree, the man seated inside the Mars rover Curiosity, inspired the nation this year when he successfully touched down on the Red Planet and began driving the vehicle across its surface. ...

2012 In The Economy

Economic indicators improved marginally during the year, with the unemployment rate falling slightly and housing prices finally starting to rebound, but the recovery from the Great Recession remained far from robust.

2012 In Politics

This year saw the Supreme Court upholding the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, Barack Obama winning reelection, and the nation threatening to go over the “fiscal cliff.” What do you think was the biggest political story of 2012?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Energy

The Onion's Finest Photojournalism Of 2012

Arby's Now Charging $2.99 To Let Customers Go Behind Counter, Grab Handfuls Of Roast Beef
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'Huffington Post' Employee Sucked Into Aggregation Turbine
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Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie Arrive On Oscar Red Carpet 12 Hours Early
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Supreme Court Justices Drowsily Bid One Another Good Night While Drifting Off To Sleep In Giant Shared Bed
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Biden To Honor Fallen Soldiers By Jumping Motorcycle Over Vietnam Memorial
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Donald Trump Stares Forlornly At Tiny, Aged Penis In Mirror Before Putting On Clothes, Beginning Day
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Area Family Awakes To Find Michelle Obama Tending Backyard Garden
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Obama Up Early Cooking Breakfast In One Of Michelle's Extra Long T-Shirts
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Fed Chief Makes Diplomatic Visit To Econopolis
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Gay Marine Beaten To Bloody Pulp To Fire Up RNC Crowd
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Romney, Ryan Sneak Into DNC While Posing As Caterers
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Biden Says Life Better Than It Was 4 Years Ago But Nothing Can Touch Summer Of '87
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Munchstrosity Created In Frito-Layboratory
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Florida To Experiment With New 600-Lever Voting Machines
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Mitt Romney Adopts New ‘Ronnie Ferocious’ Persona For Debates
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Naked, Tied-Up Paul Ryan Tells Staff He Can’t Prepare For Debate Unless They Slap Him Harder
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U.S. Signs Declaration Of Dependence On China
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Ron Paul Elected Ruler Of Planet Inhabited By 1 Billion Tiny Ron Pauls
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