Report: Mom Sending You Something

PORTLAND, ME—Stating that she had put it in the mail this morning and that you should keep an eye out for it, your mother notified you Saturday that she was sending you something, reports confirmed.

Mom Keeping Tabs On Coyote Situation

WAYZATA, MN—Regularly updating her husband and children on the frequency and location of sightings around the neighborhood, local mother Dana Salisbury continued to keep close tabs on the coyote situation this week, sources confirmed.

Area Dad Informs Busboy He’s Ready To Order

NASHUA, NH—Raising his arm into the air while leaning outward from the table in a bid to command attention from the other side of the restaurant, area father Walter Bierko called over a busboy at DiCapri’s Italian Eatery to inform him that he was ready to order, sources reported Wednesday.

Good News Kept From Parents Out Of Fear Of Proving Them Right

DANBURY, CT—Saying she wants no part of the conversation that would inevitably result if she broke the good news, local medical billing technician Jenny Comers reported Friday that she’s keeping word of her recent pay raise from her parents out of fear of proving them right.

Parents Worried Children Old Enough To Remember Family Vacation

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Fearing that their kids’ impressions of the experience could quite possibly remain with them for the rest of their lives, parents Joel and Bethany Weyandt told reporters Tuesday they are worried their children are old enough to remember the details of their recent family vacation.

Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Baby-Naming Tips For New Moms

Mothershould’s Grace Manning-Devlin breaks down some of the hottest baby names of the year, such as Cooper, Tanner, Milkman, and Serf.
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Parents Sit Down With Child For ‘Sex, Lies, And Videotape’ Talk

ALLENTOWN, PA—Recognizing that their child is old enough now to have such an important conversation, local parents Nick and Karen Yates reportedly sat down with their 10-year-old son Nathaniel on Monday to have the Sex, Lies, and Videotape talk. “Seeing Sex, Lies, and Videotape is perfectly natural, but we wanted to make sure you heard the facts from us and not from some random place on the Internet,” said mother Karen Yates, adding that Steven Soderbergh’s 1989 film starring James Spader and Andie MacDowell may initially seem confusing and even uncomfortable, but that was to be expected at first. “You shouldn’t rush into it by any means. You want your first time to be with someone special. In fact, your father and I didn’t watch Sex, Lies, and Videotape until after we were married, and, honestly, we were better off for having waited that long.” Yates went on to say, however, that there was no shame in practicing watching the movie with someone else by first watching clips of it by himself in the privacy of his room.

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