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Pope Francis Carves Roast Cherub For Vatican Christmas Dinner

VATICAN CITY—After pulling a probe thermometer from its thigh and tasting a piece of crispy golden-brown skin, Pope Francis began carving a slow-roasted 18-pound cherub for the Vatican’s annual Christmas feast, sources within the Holy See reported Sunday.

Vatican City Residents Rally To Save St. Peter’s Basilica From Development

VATICAN CITY—Citing its historical significance and the valuable role it plays in the community, residents of Vatican City rallied this week to save St. Peter’s Basilica from being demolished as part of a development project that would convert the site into an expansive residential and retail complex, sources reported.

Horrified Pope Calls Philadelphia Humanity’s Greatest Sin Against God

PHILADELPHIA—Visibly aghast as he took the pulpit at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul in Philadelphia to deliver a sermon Saturday, a horrified Pope Francis reportedly referred to the city as a “blighted abomination, forsaken by Heaven” and “humanity’s greatest sin against God.”

Pope Francis Lays Hands On Ailing U.S. Infrastructure

NEW YORK—Treating the frail, long-overlooked structures with an unparalleled display of compassion, Pope Francis reportedly inspired a crowd of onlookers Friday by laying his hands upon the ailing United States infrastructure.

Highlights Of Pope Francis’ Speech To Congress

Pope Francis began the third day of his U.S. trip by delivering an address to the joint houses of Congress, advising them on a few key issues such as climate change, immigration, and division of wealth. Here are the highlights of the pontiff’s speech:

Pope Francis’ U.S. Itinerary

Pope Francis is making his first visit to the U.S. this week, with stops in Washington, D.C., New York City, and Philadelphia as he speaks to government officials and conducts large-scale masses. Here is a full itinerary of the pope’s visit
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Pope Francis Spotted Sunbathing Nude In St. Peter’s Square

VATICAN CITY—After setting down a small tote bag and unfolding a plastic lawn chair next to the Vatican Obelisk, Pope Francis was reportedly spotted Wednesday afternoon sunbathing nude in the middle of St. Peter’s Square. “He poured himself some ice-cold sacramental wine out of a little thermos, and then he just took off his papal vestments, got totally naked, and lay down to soak up the rays,” said 49-year-old Vatican City tourist James Leahey, adding that after roughly 30 minutes, the pontiff carefully re-anointed his entire body with holy tanning oil and then turned over to lie on his stomach. “He was flipping through a paperback Bible for a while, but then he tilted his miter down over his eyes and fell asleep.” At press time, Pope Francis had put his clothes back on and was preparing to leave just as Pope Benedict XVI rollerbladed through St. Peter’s Square wearing his usual neon yellow tank top and high, cutoff jean shorts.

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Vatican City Residents Rally To Save St. Peter’s Basilica From Development

VATICAN CITY—Citing its historical significance and the valuable role it plays in the community, residents of Vatican City rallied this week to save St. Peter’s Basilica from being demolished as part of a development project that would convert the site into an expansive residential and retail complex, sources reported.

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