‘You Are Not Your Job,’ Obama Reminds Himself Throughout Shower

In This Section

presidents

Black Guy Asks Nation For Change

CHICAGO—Some residents reported seeing the black guy waving wildly and quoting from the Bible, while others said they spotted him shouting about global warming.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Personal Finance

Late Night

‘You Are Not Your Job,’ Obama Reminds Himself Throughout Shower

WASHINGTON—Muttering softly under his breath as he leaned his head against the tiled bathroom wall, President Barack Obama repeatedly reminded himself that he was not his job over the course of a 15-minute shower Friday morning, White House sources confirmed. “This job does not define you,” the commander-in-chief reportedly thought to himself as he stood there with his eyes closed, hands hanging at his sides while letting streams of water run down his face. “You are Barack Obama. You have two kids and a wife who love you. You have dreams and beliefs. That’s the man you were before you came into office, and that’s who you’ll be when you leave. Whatever else happens out there today, they can’t take that away from you.” Sources confirmed that the chief executive then stared unblinkingly at water circling the bath’s drain for several minutes before turning off the faucet and reaching for a towel.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More