Realtor Was Not Expecting Such Hard-Hitting Questions About Water Pressure

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Lovely two-bedroom, one-bath condo, carefully renovated to retain the intoxicating scent of previous tenant Lisa.

Uncooperative Seller!

Three bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms, two-car garage, and one seller who will change their mind at least four times during the sale process and will likely dispute the transaction if it ever goes through.

Player Drafted At Linebacker To Start At Realtor

OAKLAND, CA—The Raiders organization welcomed sixth-round draft choice Travis Goethel Wednesday and said the Arizona State linebacker would more than likely be asked to start as a Bay-area Realtor by the beginning of next season.

Home Sales Dropping

For the third straight month, sales on preexisting homes dropped, leading realtors to call it a "buyer's market." Here are some strategies sellers...

Iraqi Homeowner To Wait A While Before Re-Shingling Roof

BAGHDAD—Homeowner Aftab Shamoun, 34, announced Monday that he will likely wait "just a little while" before moving ahead with plans to re-shingle the roof of his Baghdad home. "Now may not be the best time to put on those nice new ceramic shingles," said Shamoun, whose roof was damaged in a wind storm last November. "Heck, I've been putting it off for so long, a few more months won't hurt." Despite putting the shingling project on the back burner, Shamoun said he plans to spend next weekend insulating his front windows with energy-efficient plywood boards.

Business Card Confirms Real-Estate Salesman Is Eddie Money

STOCKTON, CA—The suspicions of house hunters Paul and Gail Barnett were confirmed Tuesday when a business card revealed that the Century 21 agent showing them a two-bedroom split-level ranch was indeed rocker Eddie Money. "He looked just like the guy who sang 'Two Tickets To Paradise,' but I figured it must just be somebody who resembles him," Gail said. "But then, right there on the card, it said 'Edward Money.'" Gail praised Money for his thoroughness and professionalism.

Home-Buying Up Among Lame-O's

WASHINGTON, DC—In the first quarter of 2002, sales of new U.S. homes rose 5.3 percent among Dockers-wearing, Pictionary-playing lame-o's, the Commerce Department reported Monday.

Home-Buying Tips

Buying a home is one of the biggest investments a person makes in life. Here are some tips to help you make the right decision.

Man Builds House He Designed When He Was Eight Years Old

LODI, CA–A lifelong dream was realized Monday following the completion of "Fort Awesome," the high-tech home of the future Lodi architect Don Reese designed as an 8-year-old boy. "My dream is at last a reality," said the 36-year-old Reese, cutting the ribbon on the 10-room, 16-story mansion, which boasts a rooftop trampoline, seven free soda machines, and a McDonald's. "From this day forth, let Fort Awesome serve as a citadel of fun and excitement for all to enjoy. Except Dougie Wendell." A $5 million laser-guided trap-door system was installed to protect the home from infiltration by Wendell, a onetime Reese playmate who is now an actuary in Danbury, CT.

Previous Tenant Clearly Not Bothered By Mildew

YPSILANTI, MI—According to new tenant Patricia Croland, the previous occupant of Apt. 12C at 208 Hill Street was clearly not the least bit bothered by mildew. "Wow," said Croland, who moved into the apartment Monday. "Somebody out there obviously doesn't have a problem with thick layers of white fungus." Among other things that apparently did not disturb the previous tenant: large black stains on carpets, painted-shut windows, pubic hairs on doorknobs, and overpowering rotting-bologna stenches in refrigerators.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Realtor Was Not Expecting Such Hard-Hitting Questions About Water Pressure

ALBANY, NY—Left staggered and dumbfounded by the unexpected line of inquiry, real estate agent Jeffrey Tindell told reporters Monday he was totally unprepared for a potential buyer’s hard-hitting questions about the water pressure in a local three-bedroom townhouse recently listed for sale. “The showing seemed to be going pretty well, but then, out of nowhere, this guy starts grilling me on all this stuff about whether the water pressure is lower upstairs than it is downstairs—he just completely blindsided me,” said a visibly exasperated Tindell, recounting how his feet were held to the fire with questions about whether the previous resident had been happy with the pressure and whether the showerhead would likely need to be replaced. “I tried to change the subject and bring his attention back to the newly installed Berber carpeting, but he just wouldn’t let up. By the time he hit me with that question about whether the pressure in the shower is still good when the dishwasher is running, I knew I was in way, way over my head.” Tindell added that he was still reeling at the mere thought of the prospective buyer actually following through on his promise to send “a few follow-up questions” about the washer-dryer hookups.