adBlockCheck

Cooking Class Instructor Can Already Tell Which Couples Signed Up Based On Marriage Counselor’s Recommendation

Top Headlines

relationships

Report: 92% Of Americans Would Have Gotten Over Ex By Now

AUSTIN, TX—Explaining how they would have moved on with their lives a long time ago, a report released Monday by researchers at the University of Texas revealed that more than 90 percent of Americans would have easily gotten over their ex-partner by now.

Romantic Gesture Too Expensive To Waste On Current Girlfriend

HARRISBURG, PA—Claiming that the price of the incredible idea far exceeded his emotional investment in his relationship, local man Alex Ramsey said Wednesday that an extravagant romantic gesture he has in mind is too expensive to waste on his current girlfriend.

Breakup Survival Tips

Everyone goes through breakups, but learning how to deal with your feelings and find closure can help you get over your split in a healthy, productive way. Here are some tips for surviving your breakup and moving on from your relationship

Disgusting Couple Always Interacting In Public

MINNEAPOLIS—Saying the pair was making everyone nearby feel uncomfortable, onlookers stated Wednesday they were disgusted by local couple Tyler Meacham and Caitlyn Ashford’s habit of interacting in public.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Cooking Class Instructor Can Already Tell Which Couples Signed Up Based On Marriage Counselor’s Recommendation

STATESVILLE, NC—Taking note of their audible sighs and the undercurrent of resentment evident in their attempts at cooperation, gourmet cooking class instructor Dana Robertson told reporters Wednesday she could already tell which couples signed up for her French Bistro Basics course based on their marriage counselor’s recommendation. “As soon as they went to their kitchen stations and started working their way through the recipe, you could overhear all the strained ‘I feel’ statements,” said Robertson, before subtly nodding toward a nearby couple who had sniped at each other for several minutes about how to properly blanch the vegetables before the woman took over full control of the process and relegated her partner to solely washing dishes. “A lot of times, it’s the silence that gives them away—all you hear is the sound of one of them chopping carrots a little too aggressively. I’d say it’s usually about half the class on any given night.” Robertson added that she generally prefers the couples suffering marital problems, saying their hushed bickering was much less aggravating than the constant giggling and playful sharing of bites of food between the couples who were deeply in love.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close