Report: Millennials Leaving Christian Faith In Droves

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God Realizes He Forgot To Put Souls In Humans

THE HEAVENS—While pacing across His Eternal Kingdom on Friday, the Lord God Almighty, He Who Commanded Light to Shine out of Darkness, suddenly realized He had forgotten to provide human beings with souls, sources from on high reported.

Pope Nervous For Annual Performance Review With God

VATICAN CITY—Saying he’s appeared uneasy and distracted while delivering masses in recent days, Vatican insiders reported Wednesday that His Holiness Pope Francis is “getting pretty anxious” about his upcoming annual performance re...
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Report: Millennials Leaving Christian Faith In Droves

According to a new report by the Pew Research Center, the population of Americans who identify as Christian has dropped significantly over the past eight years, in part because one-third of millennials now say they are unaffiliated with any faith. What do you think?

  • “I thought I felt the forces of darkness growing stronger lately.”

    Darryl Seiber
    SAT Proctor
  • “Yeah, but as soon as the church is obscure and hip again they’ll come rushing back.”

    Eva Steward
    Soup Ladler
  • “More God for me!”

    Thomas Ordonez
    Ball Pit Supervisor
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