Man Must Be Living With Roommates By Choice At This Point

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Fuck, Roommates Want To Have Meeting

BROOKLYN, NY—Sitting in the living room of his apartment Wednesday, a visibly anxious Drew Johnson told reporters that, fuck, his roommates want to have a meeting as soon as everyone can find a moment. According to the 24-year-old production assista...

New Roommate Always There

COLUMBUS, OH–Adam Polentz said he doubts his 22-year-old roommate got up from the couch even once the entire time Polentz was away last weekend.
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Man Must Be Living With Roommates By Choice At This Point

MILWAUKEE—Noting that his income level does not necessitate sharing a single kitchen and bathroom with two other grown men, sources confirmed Wednesday that local 32-year-old Josh Redmayne must be living with roommates completely by choice at this point. “Josh has a decent job, so he could definitely afford his own place if he wanted, but I guess he’s okay with regularly waiting to watch the TV or take a shower,” said friend Nick Baker, speculating that Redmayne evidently prefers to rotate weekly chores and provide the apartment’s other occupants with advance notice of out-of-town visitors. “When his previous roommates moved out, he actually went on Craigslist and found new ones even though he could probably handle paying the entire rent himself. He doesn’t seem too upset, either, so clearly there’s something about having assigned shelves in the refrigerator that appeals to him.” Sources confirmed that Redmayne must also have some affinity for his childhood dresser, which he could easily have replaced years ago.

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