Police Headquarters Completes New Addition To Accommodate Officers On Desk Duty For Misconduct

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Media Scandals Over The Years

News anchor Brian Williams was mired in scandal this week after admitting that he had lied for years about being in a helicopter that was hit by enemy fire while covering the Iraq War in 2003.
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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Police Headquarters Completes New Addition To Accommodate Officers On Desk Duty For Misconduct

CHICAGO—In an effort to expand its congested facilities to better meet the department’s staffing needs, the Chicago Police Department announced Tuesday the construction of a new addition to its headquarters that will allow it to accommodate officers who have been placed on desk duty due to allegations of misconduct. “As an increasing number of our patrolmen are reassigned to administrative tasks pending the resolution of their internal investigations, we have found it necessary to expand our floor plan,” police chief Garry McCarthy told reporters, saying that the new annex includes ample space for officers removed from active duty and relegated to clerical tasks such as filing reports and categorizing evidence. “We were simply running out of places to put officers who had been taken off the streets for disciplinary reasons. This extension should allow us to accommodate the overflow for the foreseeable future.” At press time, the new addition was already filled past capacity, with many officers working two to a single desk.