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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Key Halftime Adjustments Propel Fourth-Grade Rec Basketball Team To 8-Point Third Quarter

WARREN, MI—Completing a stunning turnaround after the opposing team had jumped out to a commanding two-score lead, a local fourth-grade recreational basketball team made several key halftime adjustments Wednesday night that propelled them to a dominant eight-point third quarter. “We had a rough start, but deciding to put the ball in [guard Michael] Higgins’ hands really paid off when he absolutely caught fire by going two-of-nine in the second half,” said coach Jeff Hornyak, who also credited the addition of a second play for the team’s offensive explosion of four unanswered points over the first seven minutes of the third quarter. “Of course, Tyler [Guertner] also came up huge with a two-pointer after we told him to concentrate on using the backboard to bank in layups instead of launching airballs from several feet behind the three-point line, and our renewed emphasis on getting to the foul line worked out perfectly once we finally sank one. This was easily the most impressive game I’ve seen from these guys all year.” While pleased with his team’s offensive firepower, Hornyak added that none of it would have been possible without 5-foot-tall center Patrick Clark’s 37 rebounds.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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