adBlockCheck

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score. “We examined more than 1,000 games over the past five years and found that in the overwhelming majority of cases—be it pickup basketball, football, hockey, or soccer—the next team to score wins,” said study co-author Amy Lakin, adding that pickup outings frequently switch to a sudden-death format as soon as one of the players observes that it’s getting too dark out or that the energy of both teams has drastically diminished over the past 10 minutes. “Oftentimes—in roughly 80 percent of instances—the person to suggest that the next score wins is visibly tired and out of breath. We also found that the decisive nature of the game’s conclusion is almost always posed by the team that had given up the previous basket, touchdown, or goal, which is also generally the same team that would have been losing by a wide margin had anyone been keeping reliable track of the score.” Lakin added that although most players agree to call it a night following the next score, a caveat is often added that requires teams to win by two, ultimately prolonging each game by an average of 40 minutes.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close