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Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

  • Michigan Stadium

    Has been selected by The Saginaw News as the best 100,000-plus-seat venue in Washtenaw County for 13 consecutive years.


  • Stade Roland Garros

    Grunts travel up to 150 percent faster on clay courts than hard courts, making the home of the French Open a favorite among ATP pros.

  • Old Yankee Stadium

    The original home of the Yankees was torn down in 2010, but fans can still visit the grounds to meet historical actors who reveal what it was like throughout important eras.

  • Superdome

    The home of the New Orleans Saints was also briefly home to New Orleans.

  • Arrowhead Stadium

    On September 29, 2014, the stadium finally broke the record for loudest crowd when season ticket holder Allen Haskins sneezed while clapping.

  • Madison Square Garden

    The legendary Manhattan arena has hosted the NBA and NHL Finals, the Final Four, and golf’s U.S. Open.

  • Wario Stadium

    Hairpin turns and gravity-defying jumps make this the true test of the Star Cup.

  • AT&T Stadium

    One of the largest HD video displays in the world hangs from the roof of the Arlington, Texas stadium, giving fans a clear view of the Cowboys playing​ their home games at a separate nearby location.


  • Wrigley Field

    The second-oldest ballpark in baseball still features a charming, hand-operated home plate umpire.

  • Fenway Park

    The stadium is famous for the “Green Monster” in left field, though the more discriminating fan appreciates the complexity and intricacies of the ballpark’s right field fence.

More from this section

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

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