Legendary Duck Survives Another Hunting Season

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sports year in review 2008

CC Sabathia

With a magnificent display of pitching, 290-pound iron man CC Sabathia single-handedly wrestled the Brewers into the playoffs. Is he any good?

Struggling Mets Combine To Form Carlos Voltron

NEW YORK—Facing the Cubs in the midst of a three-game losing streak, the desperate Mets sprinted out to the field Tuesday, launched themselves high into the air above Shea Stadium, and combined their bodies to form a 400-foot tall fielding...

Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World

ORLANDO—Fourteen-time Olympic gold medalist and SeaWorld main attraction Michael Phelps returned to his seven-million-gallon water tank Wednesday to resume his normal schedule of performing in six shows a day for marine park crowds every...

Oh, No! Dirt Bikes!

Ah, isn't summer just wonderful? Why, I could lay here all day, surrounded by my little forest friends, and never...

Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps may be the best U.S. athlete at the Olympics. However, he may also still be a swimmer.

Greatest-Ever Olympic Moments

With the opening of the XXIX Summer Olympiad in Beijing, Onion Sports looks back on moments from the past that passed forever into...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.