Taylor Swift Now In Long-Distance Relationship With Curiosity Rover

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Taylor Swift Now Dating Watertown Boat

BOSTON—Following a string of highly publicized breakups, sources confirmed today that singer-songwriter Taylor Swift is now dating the 22-foot Watertown, MA Sea Hawk pleasure cruiser in which alleged Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokar Tsarnaev sought sh...

Taylor Swift Now Dating James Holmes

CENTENNIAL, CO—Following her split this week with One Direction singer Harry Styles, sources confirmed today that Taylor Swift has moved on and is now dating mass murder suspect James Holmes.

Taylor Swift Now Dating Suri Cruise

NEW YORK—Following her recent string of high-profile relationships, including a romance earlier this week with Garfield cartoonist Jim Davis, singer-songwriter Taylor Swift is now dating Suri Cruise, sources confirmed today.
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Taylor Swift Now In Long-Distance Relationship With Curiosity Rover

NEW YORK—Slowing things down after a string of on-again, off-again romances, sources confirmed today that pop star Taylor Swift is currently in a long-distance relationship with NASA’s Curiosity Rover. “Taylor is really serious about Curiosity, and even though the distance is tough, she’s determined to make the relationship work,” Defamer.com writer Katie Jensen said of the 23-year-old country crooner and the six-wheeled automated motor vehicle, nicknaming the couple “Trover.” “Taylor has visited Mars every chance she’s gotten, but she’s not crazy about the temperature, and would prefer it if Curiosity moved to L.A. at some point down the road. Still, she’s definitely in love and she would move to the Red Planet in a heartbeat if Curiosity asked her.” At press time, sources confirmed the infatuated Swift was sending private X-band radio waves to the rover’s UHF antenna.

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