GHOUTA, SYRIA—With its uneven, debris-strewn playing surface causing balls to bounce severely and unpredictably, players at this year’s highly anticipated Syrian Open admitted Thursday that the tournament is a serious test for anyone unaccusto...
LONDON—After becoming the first British player to win the Wimbledon men’s singles championship since 1936, Andy Murray announced Tuesday that the amount of pride Great Britain has taken in his victory at a tennis tournament is “actually ...
PALATINE, IL—During a tennis tournament hosted by Fremd High School, spectators, coaches, and fellow competitors agreed Thursday that the massive gulf in skill levels between top-ranked Anthony Pagano and bottom-seeded Tyson Vandervennet was the mos...
'It Was So Close I Thought It Was Going To Hit The Net, But It Didn’t,' Says Nadal
INDIAN WELLS, CA—In an interview following his 4-6, 6-4, 7-5 victory over Ernests Gulbis at the BNP Paribas Open, Spanish tennis player Rafael Nadal recounted hitting a shot during the second set Thursday that went super low over the net.
NEW YORK—After losing in the fourth round of the U.S. Open to Juan Martin del Potro, Andy Roddick officially retired from professional tennis Wednesday, walking away from the sport while at the peak of his competitors’ careers. Roddick, who sp...
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA—Organizers of the Australian Open canceled the highly anticipated Grand Slam event Wednesday night after admitting they were unable to prevent tennis balls from falling off the underside of the planet and into the sky.
NOWHERE—With Super Bowl XLV concluding the 2010 football season and with several months to go before the 2011 baseball season, absolutely nobody in the country confirmed Sunday that they were looking forward to watching tennis.
NEW YORK—Members of the United States Tennis Association offered a public apology Monday for the ungodly amount of tennis that has been played, promoted, and discussed during the past two weeks of the U.S.
MALLORCA, SPAIN—In a relaxed group interview given immediately following his record-tying third consecutive French Open victory, world No. 2-ranked tennis player Rafael Nadal attributed his astounding clay-court performance to staying...
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.
ALBANY, GA—Explaining that she felt relaxed and had a renewed sense of focus, local account manager Kayla Eggert told reporters Monday that she had returned to work from her recent vacation completely refreshed and ready to waste time.
Stay Up To Date, Follow @THEONION
Strongside/Weakside: Serena Williams
Serena Williams is aiming to clinch a historic calendar Grand Slam at this year’s U.S. Open, forever enshrining her as the last American tennis player worth talking about. Is she any good?