Ray Rice

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Three Players To Watch In Week 2

Ndamukong Suh

Strength: Amazing flexibility when twisting quarterback’s head off Detroit-Area Families That Could Be Fed with Expected 2012 Fines: 14 Preferred Type of Rage: Blinding Leadership Skills: Sets an example for his teammate...

Peyton Manning

Role Among His Teammates:: Uninterested-father figure Favorite Denver Hangout: Dr. Jensen’s Chiropractors on York and Fifth Little-Known Fact: Yells his audibles in the key of G minor Goal: Walk out of locker room in Jan...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Protection

  • Guards Gun Down Four Angels Escaping From Heaven

    THE HEAVENS—Killing four and critically wounding several others, armed guards dispatched from the Right Hand of God reportedly opened fire early Monday morning on a group of angels attempting to escape from heaven. One of the Eternal Kingdom’s...

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Ray Rice

Tragic Childhoods per Attempt: 1

Little-Known Fact: Has never formally met Joe Flacco

Biggest Regret: Picked his number too quickly

Running Style: Put head down and try not to get killed

Fantasy Outlook: Very good chance the running back will go with the one about being trapped in an elevator with Scarlett Johansson, who turns out to be a she-male with a 19-inch cock