Ray Rice

Top Headlines

Three Players To Watch In Week 2

Ndamukong Suh

Strength: Amazing flexibility when twisting quarterback’s head off Detroit-Area Families That Could Be Fed with Expected 2012 Fines: 14 Preferred Type of Rage: Blinding Leadership Skills: Sets an example for his teammate...

Peyton Manning

Role Among His Teammates:: Uninterested-father figure Favorite Denver Hangout: Dr. Jensen’s Chiropractors on York and Fifth Little-Known Fact: Yells his audibles in the key of G minor Goal: Walk out of locker room in Jan...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


College Freshman Decides To Be Lanyard-Wearing Kind

ANN ARBOR, MI—Emphasizing that this was not a choice he had made lightly, University of Michigan student Kevin Peterson told reporters Thursday that he had officially decided to become one of the lanyard-wearing kind of freshmen.

House and Home

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Ray Rice

Tragic Childhoods per Attempt: 1

Little-Known Fact: Has never formally met Joe Flacco

Biggest Regret: Picked his number too quickly

Running Style: Put head down and try not to get killed

Fantasy Outlook: Very good chance the running back will go with the one about being trapped in an elevator with Scarlett Johansson, who turns out to be a she-male with a 19-inch cock