Vilsack Reprimanded For Spending Work Hours Writing Corn Blog

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Vilsack Stays Up All Night With Sick Corn Plant

WASHINGTON—Gently applying a cool cloth to the plant’s kernels as he cradled its frail stalk in his arms, Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack stayed up all night caring for a sick corn plant, sources close to the former Iowa governor confirmed Tuesday.

Study: Red Meat Takes Years Off Of Cow's Life

WASHINGTON—Confirming years of speculation, a new study from the U.S. Department of Agriculture's National Animal Health Monitoring System has found that red meat significantly increases the risk of premature death in cows.
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Vilsack Reprimanded For Spending Work Hours Writing Corn Blog

WASHINGTON—Sternly reminded that it was inappropriate to pursue personal interests at the office, Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack was reprimanded Thursday for writing his corn blog during a cabinet meeting, sources told reporters. “Welcome back, corn lovers! Tom here with a quick update,” Vilsack wrote in the latest entry for “Corn On The Blog,” which he had reportedly updated eight times this week with recipes and various images of corn. “It’s the best time of year for sweet corn, and that means everything from earlivee to bicolor fleet is in season and ready for your plate! Keep an eye on the Corn Citchen. (I’ve got a great fritter up my sleeve!) Check back soon for more updates and pics, and don’t forget to comment below with what’s getting you excited about corn these days!” According to witnesses, Vilsack had been compiling a list of his favorite shucking techniques when President Obama ordered him to close his laptop and pay attention.