adBlockCheck

travel

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

Tips For Hotel Etiquette

Staying in a hotel can be a fun and luxurious experience, but it requires consideration of the guests around you. The Onion presents its guide to hotel etiquette:

Historians Piece Together Carnival East India Company’s First Cruise In 1605

LONDON—Working from recently discovered ships’ logs and archaeological findings, a team of historians announced Monday they had pieced together a detailed account of the Carnival East India Company’s maiden cruise—the very first seafaring journey to the Far East dedicated solely to the enjoyment and entertainment of its passengers.

Mom On Vacation Marveling At Time Difference Compared To Home

SAN DIEGO—Having already pointed out when everyone back home was getting off work and when the local nightly news was starting, area mother Pam Westin spent much of the first day of her family’s week-long California vacation marveling at the time difference compared to where they lived, sources confirmed Tuesday.

The TSA’s Plans For Improvement

The Transportation Security Administration has pledged to revamp its processes in response to recent record-setting airport lines and wait times. Here are some ways in which the TSA plans to improve

Budget Travel Tips

With the bloated cost of airfare and hotels, many people are looking to save on travel however they can. Here are The Onion’s tips for planning a memorable vacation without overspending.

Disney World Opens New Ordeal Kingdom For Family Meltdowns

BAY LAKE, FL—Touting the new property’s wide variety of unique and imaginative attractions, representatives from the Walt Disney World Resort announced Monday the opening of Ordeal Kingdom, a new theme park specifically designed for full-scale family meltdowns.

Tips For Traveling With Young Children

Family vacations can be a time for bonding and building lasting memories, but when young children are involved, trips can also be stressful to plan and execute. Here are The Onion’s tips for traveling with kids
End Of Section
  • More News

travel

Vacationing Uncle Posts Terse, Emotionless Facebook Update From Cruise Ship

NASSAU, BAHAMAS—Coming a full five days into the eight-day voyage, Russell family sources reported Monday that Uncle Neil had posted a terse, emotionless Facebook post from his cruise ship vacation, thus far the only dispatch from the week-long tropical getaway. Noting that the update failed to even mention the lavish buffets, sun-drenched decks, or any of the well-appointed cruise ship’s other amenities, family members said that the post instead contained a photo of a nondescript cabin simply captioned “Our room.” Sources added that the update neglected to refer to any beautiful island locales or points of historical interest at which the cruise ship had docked, and that the only indication that Uncle Neil’s family had accompanied him on the cruise at all was an image of a blurry plate of food that inadvertently included what appeared to be Aunt Ellen’s arm. At press time, no one had commented on the post, but it had been liked by two of Uncle Neil’s coworkers.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close