adBlockCheck

tv

No I’m Not

FOX 8:30 p.m. EDT/7:30 p.m. CDT In this new game show, celebrities go to public places and, when recognized by others, deny they’re who people think they are. This week: Robert DeNiro goes to Subway.

The Bible

Lifetime 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT When voluptuous neighbor Bathsheba decides to take a steamy outdoor bath, will King David be able to hold it together?

'Sesame Street' Turns 40

The public broadcasting mainstay Sesame Street celebrated its 40th anniversary last month. Here are some highlights from...

U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs

WANTAGE, NJ—Acting on anonymous tips from within the Hispanic-American community, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who for the last 48 years had been living illegally in the United States under the name Lou Dobbs.
End Of Section
  • More News

Shark Week Programming Preview

Every summer, Discovery Channel devotes an entire slate of programming to Shark Week. Here’s a sneak peek of what’s coming up.

  • Parade Of Nations (Sunday, July 23, 6 p.m. EDT)

    Representatives from over 200 nations will march in a display of global unity to celebrate the commencement of Shark Week

  • Phelps Vs. Shark (Sunday, July 23, 8 p.m. EDT)

    After months of speculation, the world will finally learn which impressive creature can consume more mackerel in 15 minutes

  • 10 And Pregnant (Monday, July 24, 3 p.m. EDT)

    This reality series follows the trials and tribulations of several young sharks who became pregnant two years earlier than most

  • Could A Great White Shark Ever Swim Into Your Living Room and Eat Your Entire Family? (Tuesday, July 25, 9 p.m. EDT)

    A sober analysis

  • Under The Placoid Scales: The True Story Of A Shark And Her Dream (Wednesday, July 26, 5 p.m. EDT)

    An inspiring story that encompasses the joys and heartbreak of life as a young shark

  • Storage Wars (Wednesday, July 26, 10 p.m. EDT)

    Amateur treasure hunters bid on the contents of beached tiger sharks

  • One Dies (Thursday, July 27, 8 p.m. EDT)

    One of them was killed and you get to watch it die

  • Shark Stalker (Friday, July 28, 8 p.m. EDT)

    When does a marine biologist’s passion for a solitary female blue shark become a dangerous obsession?

  • Boring-Ass Wobbegongs Get Their Hour (Saturday, July 29, 7 p.m. EDT)

    These carpet sharks are boring as shit, but they’re sharks and they get a primetime spot just like everyone else

  • Shark Sex (Sunday, July 30, 10 p.m. EDT)

    A full hour of the good stuff

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close