KANSAS CITY, MO—With their continued investment in projects aimed at reaching out to the 14-year-old inner-city resident, the nation’s marketers are the last group of people in the country still trying to get through to local child Derek Crawford, sources confirmed Wednesday.
HELENA, MT—Promising unspoiled nature and a relaxing escape from the hectic rigors of city life, a new Montana tourism advertising campaign that debuted this week is reportedly marketed toward urban bison.
CAMDEN, NJ—Saying they were fed up with the numerous challenges stemming from their city’s extensive urban decay, Camden, NJ residents confirmed Wednesday that they would love to just skip to the part where they get a hip, revitalized restaurant scene.
WASHINGTON—In an effort to aid and inform local residents ahead of next year’s presidential election, officials at urban polling centers across the nation recommended Thursday that those intending to cast ballots in 2016 should begin lining up now.
ITHACA, NY—Confirming that most inner-city residents have gone their entire lives without sufficient access to blacklight skating or Skate-’N’-Celebrate birthday parties, an alarming study published this week by Cornell University reveal...
NEW YORK—Sitting in the multinational corporation’s boardroom, Chase executives reportedly spent most of Friday afternoon nostalgically recalling the financial company’s hip-hop roots, reminiscing about being young bankers who helped cre...
CHICAGO—Highlighting increasingly dangerous conditions within the city, a new study published Monday by Northwestern University’s Department of Environmental Studies revealed that approximately 75 percent of the air in Chicago is now composed ...
BELMONT, NC—Channeling the timeless elegance of the silver screen, 12-year-old Kaitlyn Falk was reportedly the very image of old Hollywood glamour after getting her hair curled by her aunt for her middle school’s spring dance on Friday.
FREEHOLD, NJ—Saying it hasn’t always been easy inventing reasons for not attending one of his gigs, local man John Gilman, 68, told reporters Thursday that he has spent approximately 50 years coming up with excuses to avoid checking out the band of high school classmate Bruce Springsteen.
GAMMA CEPHEI STAR SYSTEM—Taking long hits of euphoria plasma from his electro-collider bong, stoned extraterrestrial Zogart 21X Flaxum stumbled across a hidden message Friday after listening to the Voyager 1 probe’s Golden Record backwards.