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Man Votes Early To Get Week Bragging About It Out Of Way

SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Saying he had been looking forward to casting his ballot and didn’t want to wait until November 8, local man David Keene, 36, reportedly voted early Thursday in order to get a week of bragging about it out of the way.

Republicans Poised To Retain Control Of Senate

WASHINGTON—With precincts reporting GOP victories in key midterm election races nationwide, Beltway sources confirmed Tuesday that the Republican Party is poised to retain its complete control of the U.S.

The Onion’s Guide To Voting

Midterm elections are taking place today, with 36 Senate spots, all 435 House seats, and thousands of local posts to be decided at ballot boxes across the country.

Crimean Voters Excited To Exercise Democracy For Last Time

SIMFEROPOL, UKRAINE—Following yesterday’s referendum in which 97 percent of voters cast ballots in favor of seceding from Ukraine and joining the Russian Federation, Crimean citizens expressed their excitement Monday at participating in the de...
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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

  • MYTH: There are thousands of documented cases of people voting under fake names

    FACT: There are thousands of documented cases of people voting under Hispanic names

  • MYTH: On Election Day, people are bussed in from different states in order to vote multiple times

    FACT: No bus has ever achieved speeds high enough to accomplish this

  • MYTH: It’s easy to vote using a deceased person’s name

    FACT: While it’s actually quite difficult, voting under the name of a deceased person can be a touching and poignant tribute to a loved one who has passed

  • MYTH: Fraudulent votes are delegitimizing our elections

    FACT: Fraudulent candidates are delegitimizing our elections

  • MYTH: After voting, many people get back in line wearing a big cowboy hat and handlebar mustache

    FACT: Three children covered by a long overcoat pretending to be an adult is a much more common technique

  • MYTH: Voter ID laws reinforce a racist system

    FACT: Most things reinforce a racist system

  • MYTH: Widespread voter fraud is one of the most pressing issues facing the United States

    FACT: Widespread belief in voter fraud is one of the most pressing issues facing the United States

  • MYTH: Thousands of dead people voted in last year’s election

    FACT: We are all much closer to death after last year’s election

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Crimean Voters Excited To Exercise Democracy For Last Time

SIMFEROPOL, UKRAINE—Following yesterday’s referendum in which 97 percent of voters cast ballots in favor of seceding from Ukraine and joining the Russian Federation, Crimean citizens expressed their excitement Monday at participating in the de...

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