Pope Francis Clarifies That God Just One Of Many Immortal Beings Who Speak To Him Every Day

Top Headlines


Obama Returns From Trade Summit With 5 Stout Ships Full Of Cardamom, Silk, And Indigo

WASHINGTON— Exhausted, berimed with salt, and haggard from his long sea journey, but nevertheless triumphant as he guided his fleet to port following the completion of the Trans-Pacific Partnership, President Barack Obama is said to have made harbor in Washington, D.C.’s anchorage Monday, his five sturdy galleons choked to the very gunwales with the finest silks, casks of redolent cardamom, and great cakes of vivid dye-of-indigo retrieved from the far Orient.

Goals Of The U.N. General Assembly

The 70th United Nations General Assembly takes place this week, with member countries focusing on plans to address global sustainability, economic growth, and the Syrian refugee crisis, among other major topics. Here are the main goals of this year’s assembly:

Pope Francis’ U.S. Itinerary

Pope Francis is making his first visit to the U.S. this week, with stops in Washington, D.C., New York City, and Philadelphia as he speaks to government officials and conducts large-scale masses. Here is a full itinerary of the pope’s visit

A Primer On Pope Francis’ Views

Pope Francis has garnered much international attention in the first two and a half years of his papacy, taking a more liberal approach to women’s issues, the family unit, and the environment than his predecessors. Here is a primer on prominent global issues and the pope’s views on them:
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times


  • ‘Our Town’ Cast Party Going Off The Rails

    PEEKSKILL, NY—Describing a wild scene in which performers and stagehands were loudly conversing, laughing, and occasionally breaking back into their characters from the play, sources confirmed Sunday night that the cast party for the local production of Our Town is currently going off the rails.

Pope Francis Clarifies That God Just One Of Many Immortal Beings Who Speak To Him Every Day

VATICAN CITY—Explaining how he rarely goes more than an hour or two without hearing from one of them or another, Pope Francis revealed to reporters Tuesday that God is just one of many immortal beings who speak to him on a daily basis. “God is always there to listen to my prayers and provide spiritual guidance, but on any given day, there are maybe 15 or 20 other undying entities from beyond our world—Anubis, Quetzalcoatl, Freyja, you name it—who get in touch with me,” said the bishop of Rome, adding that, over the course of a month, he communicates with hundreds of various deities, spirits, numina, naiads, dryads, and wraiths who come bearing some kind of important message or just check in to see how he’s doing. “Sure, in my day-to-day job I serve as an earthly liaison for the Lord Our God. But to be honest, I don’t talk to Him nearly as much as I do Hanuman or Nerrivik the Sea-Mother. Actually, I just finished up talking with Phobos and Deimos right before this—love those two.” The pontiff added that while he typically enjoys the company, he’s getting a little tired of having to listen to the endless whining of all the banshees who hang around him.