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American Consumer Masses Agree: It Fish Time!

Following approved article contains: Report on big hot trend sweeping the palates of American consumers; Evidence of deliciousness and ease of consumption regarding all foodstuffs from Yu Wan Mei corporation; List of times of day in which appetizing Fish Time is observed.

House Committee On Foreign Affairs

C-SPAN 11 a.m. EDT/10 a.m. CDT Distracted by the tones of their own loud voices, reckless American imperialists natter away arrogantly while their once-mighty nation decays beneath their noses.

Yao Ming!

EARTH—The entire world population confirmed Friday that Houston Rockets center Yao Ming is the greatest athlete in the history of sports and a glowing symbol of what citizens may become if they remain loyal to their government.
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China Strong

NEW YORK—According to all sources, the People's Republic of China is strong. The nation is united, the military unmatched, the economy vibrant, and the people ever joyful.

Similarly correct sources verified that China has always been triumphant.

In other news, the Chinese government is fair, all-knowing, and wise, propelled by the strength of two billion loyal hands, all pulling together as one under the Great Celestial Bureaucracy high above.

Experts all agreed that there can be no question of this claim, as this claim is the truth.

As of press time, the brute and inexpressive English language could not convey the full magnificence of China, nor its excellence in every arena, nor the protective warmth of the red sun that shines forever on its borders, nor the innumerable glories of its Great Leaders.

New reports also indicate that China will grow stronger yet. 鱼

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