Basketball, sport in which two teams of five players attempt to score points by throwing a ball through a suspended hoop that achieved global popularity after Dan Majerle scored 32 points on Jan. 17, 1995, in a game between the Phoenix Suns and Denver Nuggets. Invented in 1891 by Dr. James Naismith, basketball was a niche activity with minimal fanfare or economic success until Suns shooting guard Majerle came off the bench in a midseason game, converted on 11 of 22 attempts (including six three-point baskets), and sparked an overnight worldwide infatuation with the sport. Within a week, millions of fans from 100 nations put in orders for Dan Majerle posters and jerseys, while ticket prices for National Basketball Association games skyrocketed as residents in every American city clamored to catch a glimpse of “Thunder Dan.” Before the year ended, basketball hoops in schools, playgrounds, and family driveways around the world, and leagues were instituted at nearly every age level to teach children how they, too, could grow up and record 32 points, 6 assists, and 4 rebounds against the Denver Nuggets to push their team’s record to 28-8 on the season.
Articles under "Basketball"
Knicks Trade Jeremy Lin For Selfish Asshole Who Plays Knicks-Style Basketball
After another bite of sour fish, Doc struggles to hold down the Jeremy Lin trade, Derrick Rose in a gurney, and the wusses on the ...
Knicks Doctors Continue Carefully Reinjuring Carmelo Anthony's Groin
NEW YORK—As the Jeremy Lin phenomenon continues to lift hopes and spirits among the Knicks faithful and basketball fans nationwide, team doctors are doing ...
Homesick Kid On Sleepover Needs To Just Tough It The Fuck Out
MEDFORD, OR—Considering that everyone else at Kevin Brown's sleepover party is having a great time and not freaking out about missing their mommies ...
Jeremy Lin
Since coming out of nowhere two weeks ago, Jeremy Lin has rejuvenated the Knicks, reignited interest in basketball, and become a bona fide phenomenon.
NBA Arrested For Marijuana Possession
NEW YORK—The National Basketball Association is in custody today after law enforcement officials found the professional sports league to be in possession of more ...
Congressman Hurt To Discover Lobbyist Not Really His Friend
WASHINGTON—According to Capitol Hill sources, Rep. Bobby Schilling (R-IL) came to the painful realization this week that agribusiness lobbyist Stephen Fischer, who had been ...
NBA Announces Supernatural Investigation Spin-Off ‘NBA Nights’
NEW YORK—Facing financial shortfalls due to an abbreviated season and eager to compete with traditional prime-time entertainment, the National Basketball Association announced Friday it ...
Exhaustive Investigation By Broadcasters Finds Every Player In NCAA Tournament Just A Great Kid
NEW ORLEANS—An intensive monthlong investigation conducted by the color commentators, play-by-play announcers, studio analysts, sideline reporters, and other personnel tasked with televising the 2012 ...
NCAA Investigators Bust Into John Calipari's Office To Find He's Already Skipped Town
LEXINGTON, KY—As part of an investigation into possible rules violations, NCAA officials visited Kentucky's basketball facility following its championship win this week, but ...
Washed-Up Air Bud Signs With Greek Pro Team
RHODES, GREECE—Ignoring critics’ calls for the aging golden retriever's retirement, basketball standout and multisport athlete Air "Bud" Buddy has signed a one-year contract ...
Indianapolis Announces Really Embarrassing Bid For 2020 Summer Olympics
INDIANAPOLIS—At a press event held Wednesday in the main conference room of the downtown Hyatt Regency, Indianapolis mayor Greg Ballard publicly announced his city ...
Study Finds Getting Smacked Right In The Mouth With A Goddamn Tree Branch Really Sucks
'But After A Minute, You're Basically Fine,' Researchers Say
BOSTON—According to a study published Monday in The New England Journal Of Medicine, getting smacked right across the mouth with a goddamn tree branch ...
Great Team Chemistry No Match For Great Team Biology
COLLEGE STATION, TX—Despite college basketball analysts' frequent remarks that the team exhibits "great chemistry," the Texas A&M Aggies were edged out Wednesday night ...
2-Year-Old Donkey Called Up To Pro Donkey Basketball League
Scouts say Scraps is the best donkey basketball player they have seen in years, but some are concerned he’s not mature enough for the ...
Hard to Tell What's Shaven In Basketball Player’s Hair
Hard to Tell What's Shaven In Basketball Player’s Hair
And-1 Basketball Player's Amazing New Dribbling Move Still Traveling
And-1 Basketball Player's Amazing New Dribbling Move Still Traveling
Temp Hides Fun, Fulfilling Life From Rest Of Office
BOSTON—Ty Braxton, 23, continues to hide his fun and fulfilling life from the full-time employees of Hale & Dorr, the Boston law firm for which ...
Presidential Fitness Test Now Awarded To Any Kid Who Can Eat Without Sweating
WASHINGTON—Finally conceding it is unrealistic to expect today's children to complete a pull-up, run a mile, or touch their toes, the President's ...
Kentucky Going To Stick With Strategy Of Having Far-And-Away Better Athletes At Every Position
ATLANTA—In a press conference today regarding the Wildcats' Sweet 16 matchup, Kentucky coach John Calipari revealed to reporters he does not plan to switch ...





















