PASADENA, CA—With the intention of letting loose, hitting the town, and maybe even "getting into a little mischief," Christine Fehrman, 33, and her closest ...

AUSTIN, TX—Following formal charges of performance-enhancing drug use brought by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency against Lance Armstrong on Wednesday, Armstrong's longtime bicycle ...

Evan DeRosa, 31, died from head injuries sustained during a bicycle accident. And get this, he was wearing a helmet, so suck on that helmet ...

OVERLAND PARK, KS—Shock rocker Marilyn Manson has been touring suburbia in a last-ditch effort to shock Americans.

LOS ANGELES—At a press conference Monday, Everton and Los Angeles Galaxy forward Landon Donovan announced his signing of a $2-Per-Goal contract with his grandparents ...

Aries The stars foretell of a mad prophet rising in the east in the moon's next cycle. They hope this somehow helps you with ...

STANFORD, CA—Known throughout the community for his verbal outbursts and his shopping cart full of trash, area street denizen "Cosmic Stan" must have studied ...

WASHINGTON, DC—Alzheimer's sufferers marched on random buildings throughout Washington, demanding more bread in the laundry.

GHAZNI, AFGHANISTAN—Outraged by the recent loosening of dress codes in her country, burqa wearer Uliya Salah condemned fellow Afghani Raheela Asaad Monday for appearing ...

NEW YORK—An estimated 80 billion tons of Jar Jar Binks-related merchandise—manufactured in bulk this spring in anticipation of the summer's blockbuster Star ...

WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation released a 400-page report Monday offering detailed evidence of a massive seventh-grade crush ring operating in the Dallas ...

GALESBURG, IL—After discussing the merits of both events at length, Julie and Ian Bowman, 7 and 5, agreed that their mother Ariel Binder's ...

AUBURN, CA—After four months of romantic involvement, Wells Fargo mortgage lending assistant Heidi Bird, 27, said Monday that she is beginning to regret getting ...

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Dr. James Munson, known to millions as the infamous "vehicular manslaughter doctor," participated in his 23rd doctor-assisted vehicular manslaughter Monday, running over ...

MADISON, WI—The holidays evoke images of carolers and hot cocoa, sleigh rides through the crisp country air, and chestnuts roasting on an open fire ...

CHICAGO—According to recently engaged and utterly smug shitheads Ross Bird and Jessica Black, the couple wants their upcoming nuptials to be not just a ...