Boston, large northeastern American city of 650,000 people, each of whom, regardless of class or socioeconomic status, is a humongous asshole. Founded in 1630 by English Puritans fleeing persecution and seeking a place to practice their religion as free assholes, Boston has evolved into a center for education, medicine, and telling one another to shut the fuck up. Common cultural activities include being physically assaulted by the working-class assholes of South Boston, dodging the thousands of college-student assholes as they stumble from the city’s many asshole bars, being looked down upon with withering contempt by the obscenely wealthy blue-blood assholes of Beacon Hill, and talking about their overpaid baseball team of assholes. Despite a tangible racial divide, Boston’s diverse citizenry crosses all color boundaries to form the most irritating and insufferable group of people in the United States. (See Philadelphia)

From The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge