Democratic Party, devout, highly organized group of political zealots with the explicitly stated goal of seizing control of the U.S. government. Bent on total political domination of the country, the Democratic Party has vowed to let nothing stand in its way as it takes over all levels of government in every state and municipality in a ruthless effort to impose its extremist agenda on every American man, woman, and child. (See Republican Party)
Articles under "Democrat"
Democrats: Obama Has Dicked Us Around For Four Years, Now It's Our Turn
While most Democrats plan to vote for Obama in November, they continue to tell pollsters they're "undecided" just for the fun of messing with ...
Republicans Stalling Obama's Agenda By Speaking, Moving In Slow Motion
Democrats charge that Republican members of Congress are preventing the passage of the bills by moving very slowly.
Obama Openly Asks Nation Why On Earth He Would Want To Serve For Another Term
PITTSBURGH—Citing three years of exhausting partisan politics, constant gridlock in Congress, and an overall feeling that the entire nation has "completely lost it," President ...
New Photos Reveal Stress Of Obama's First Term In Office Has Rapidly Aged Americans
WASHINGTON—Recent side-by-side photographic comparisons of Americans before and after he assumed the presidency have confirmed the stress of Barack Obama's time in the ...
Obama Blasts Obama's Evasive Stance On Gay Marriage
'The President Needs To Come Clean On His Views,' Obama Says
WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama lashed out at President Barack Obama's seemingly evasive stance on gay marriage Tuesday, calling the head-of-state's cagey position on ...
Report: 2012 Election Likely To Be Decided By 4 Or 5 Key Swing Corporations
WASHINGTON—With polls this week showing the race between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney tightening even further, a growing number of political experts have declared ...
Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'
WASHINGTON, DC—Mere days from his inauguration, president-elect Bush vowed to undo the damage not done by the Clinton Administration.
Tens Of Thousands Dead In Ongoing Africa
JUBA, SOUTH SUDAN—According to alarming reports from international relief agencies operating in Swaziland, Chad, the Democratic Republic of Congo, and rebel-held sections of Mali ...
Obama Launches More Realistic 'I Have Big Ideas But We'll See How It Goes' Campaign Slogan
CHICAGO—After coming to terms with the limited scope of what he can realistically expect to accomplish as president, Barack Obama announced Wednesday a new ...
Disturbed Beltway Sources Report Congress Eerily Cooperative Today
WASHINGTON—According to reports from distressed Capitol Hill sources, members of both houses of Congress were eerily cooperative and agreeable throughout today's legislative session ...
Obama Raises $60 Million In May
During May, Obama and the Democratic Party raised a combined $60 million for his reelection campaign, bringing his total to $450 million.
New Bipartisan Law Would Make Dog Neckerchiefs Mandatory
WASHINGTON—Cutting short its Columbus Day recess, Congress held a special emergency session this weekend to push through comprehensive legislation requiring every dog in the ...
Romney During Victory Speech: ‘Man, This Is A Weak Field’
TAMPA, FL—Following a decisive win in tonight's Florida primary, presidential candidate Mitt Romney took a moment during his victory address to reflect on ...
Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness
WASHINGTON, DC—In the face of seemingly insurmountable advantages,
Sen. Reid assured his party, "We can lose this."
Local Jew Feels Left Out Of Worldwide Jewish Conspiracy
SOUTHFIELD, MI—It is an hour past sunset on a brisk Thursday night, and, like their brethren around the globe, the Jews of this affluent ...
Joe Biden Hitchhikes To Democratic National Convention
Biden says he's always on the lookout for travel partners he can share some "weed, whites, and whiskey" with.
The Onion Voter's Guide To Barack Obama
Election Day is fast approaching. To help you prepare, here now is The Onion's in-depth voter's guide to Democratic candidate Barack Obama.
Obama Fondly Recalls Frustration Of First Term
WASHINGTON—Saying that those were definitely some good times, a reflective President Obama told reporters Friday that the current scandals plaguing his administration have made ...
New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don't Want To Have A Country Anymore
WASHINGTON, DC—Few respondents expressed strong feelings, but most thought dissolving the union would "be a lot easier for everyone."
