Economics, science of explaining where all the money went. The field of economics is divided into two main categories: microeconomics, which examines why the money was all here a minute ago but now it’s not; and macroeconomics, which looks at the economy as a whole to determine how that much money could just be gone all of a sudden. Economists use empirical evidence in an attempt to understand why what little money is left is somehow worth a lot less now than it was before, and they analyze data to study why simply making new money to replace the money that disappeared isn’t really how it works. While some schools of economic thought hold that the best course of action is to reject the idea that the money is really gone and carry on like nothing happened, other theories argue that the only way to fix this is to ask the people with the most money to share it with everyone else because a lot of people need money right now. Economics is often used by governments to implement social policies, such as accepting that the money is never coming back and that everybody had better just get used to it.
Articles under "Economics"
Romney Apologizes To Nation's 150 Million 'Starving, Filthy Beggars'
SALT LAKE CITY—Seeking to limit the fallout from a videotaped speech in which he asserts 47 percent of Americans “pay no taxes” and do ...
God Distances Self From Christian Right
THE HEAVENS—Responding to inflammatory remarks made by Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock during a debate Tuesday night, Our Lord God the Almighty Father today ...
'The State Of The Union Is Strong,' Says Man Responsible For Shielding Nation From TruthÂ
Though presiding over a country hampered by war, an economic recession, dramatic cultural upheaval, and a partisan divide at the highest levels of government, the ...
Things That Shouldn't Be Said In Modern Society To Be Said At Least 1,400 Times At RNC
TAMPA, FL—According to numerous sociologists and political experts, things that should never under any circumstance be spoken aloud in modern society will be said ...
Obama Up Early Cooking Breakfast In One Of Michelle's Extra Long T-Shirts
A local dog is wolfing down kibble as if the United States isn’t in a goddamn economic crisis, Mitt Romney gets stick in an ...
'The State Of The Union Is Strong,' Says Man Responsible For Shielding Nation From Truth
WASHINGTON—Though presiding over a country hampered by war, an economic recession, dramatic cultural upheaval, and a partisan divide at the highest levels of government ...
Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures
On Today Now!, author Christine Eckard teaches Jim and Tracy to imagine economic problems as oily, curly-haired "Grabblers."
Extreme Storms To Rip Through Godforsaken Midwestern Wasteland
The Onion Weather Center focuses on the Midwest, where a storm system should recede into the distance like any hope of a stable economic future ...
Romney Campaign Sends In Champion Of The Poor Paul Ryan For Damage Control
BOSTON—Following the widespread controversy over Mitt Romney’s recently leaked comments criticizing Americans who depend on the government, Republican vice presidential candidate and widely ...
Scientists: 'Look, One-Third Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This?'
WASHINGTON—Saying there's no way around it at this point, a coalition of scientists announced Thursday that one-third of the world population must die ...
New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct
WASHINGTON—Saying the now critically endangered species of politician is at high risk for complete extinction within the next 10 years, Beltway-area conservationists announced plans ...
Pet Eating Like Country Isn't In Goddamn Recession
RICHMOND, IN—Apparently heedless of the dismal fiscal climate, local dog Digby is wolfing down kibble as though the United States isn't limping its ...
Hard Economic Times
Dear The Onion, I’ve fallen on hard times economically. Could you find it in your heart to reimburse me for the cost of this ...
Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is
SEWARD, NE—Claiming he wasn't afraid to let everyone in attendance know about "the real mess we're in," Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke ...
Fearless Man Bravely Ventures Out Into U.S. Economy
GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Steeling himself against brutal market conditions and an unforgiving fiscal climate, fearless local man Calvin Ordway boldly set out into the U ...
Nation's Lower Class At Least Grateful It Not Part Of Nation's Middle Class
CHAPEL HILL, NC—A survey released Wednesday by researchers at the University of North Carolina found that despite the many challenges they face, the nation ...
Economically Healthy 'Daily Planet' Now Most Unrealistic Part Of Superman Universe
NEW YORK—Frustrated fans of the Superman comic book said Monday the continued financial stability and cultural relevance of the series' Daily Planet newspaper is ...
2012 In The Economy
Economic indicators improved marginally during the year, with the unemployment rate falling slightly and housing prices finally starting to rebound, but the recovery from the ...






















