Internet, worldwide electronic network populated by web skaters, e-hustlers, modem punks, cyber chatters, code warriors, holochumps, techno bums, and digijackers, all scaling the super-data techno grid in search of virtuo-entertainment, iFortunes, and trouble. Online trekkers enter the Internet by hiring an info-navigator, or “chip jockey,” to jack them into the cyberzone by plugging directly into the etherstream interface to transfer thoughts, memories, and personalities to a binary web sojourner. For these Nexxus-monkeys, the digital domain is a pixelated playground of multi-dimensional locales and wild e-saloons, where they can upload intoxicating WhiskeyFiles and hire synthetic concubines to experience a simulated fornication program. Although thousands of net-settlers scroll across the binary realms, hoping to strike it rich on a data mine claim, the Virtual Plane is a lawless digital frontier overrun with compu-criminals and ruled by the brutal neuro-mob, which has no respect for artificial life if it stands in the way of making a quick credit. Plagued by illegal kilobyte trafficking and e-mercenaries staging brazen giga-heists, the Internet’s circuit rails are no longer safe for casual online explorers—known derisively as couch-pluggers—who come into contact with unscrupulous cyberdwellers and get permanently booted offline.
Articles under "Internet"
Internet Scam Alert: Most "Kickstarter" Projects Just Useless Crap
Internet criminals are using a website called "Kickstarter" to bilk friends and families out of money for terrible, ill-conceived, and unnecessary "personal projects."
'Huffington Post' Employee Sucked Into Aggregation Turbine
Horrified Workers Watch As Colleague Torn Apart By Powerful Content-Gathering Engine
NEW YORK—Shocked and saddened witnesses at the Huffington Post's news-aggregation facility have confirmed that employee Henry Evers, 25, died Wednesday ...
Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins Of 'Friendster' Civilization
Researchers conducting the Friendster excavation say the site has been deserted since the year 2005 A.D.
Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone
HOUSTON—Hoping to boost profits by cutting into the valuable market share currently occupied by Apple's popular iPhone 4S, top American rice manufacturer Uncle ...
Romneymania Sweeps America
TAMPA, FL—From coast to coast, town to town, and in nearly every public meeting place and private residence across America, millions have been captivated ...
Miranda July Called Before Congress To Explain Exactly What Her Whole Thing Is
WASHINGTON—Congress convened a special investigative committee this week in an attempt to put to rest questions that have puzzled the nation for much of ...
Blood-Drenched, Berserk CEO Demands More Web Videos
'We Need More Videos!' Yells Crazed Executive While Beating Random Employee With Golf Club
NEW YORK—Screaming at the top of his lungs like a deranged lunatic and drenched in his own blood as well as the blood of ...
Scandalous Photos Reveal Grover Norquist Carried On Secret Affair With Taxes For Years
Is a history of infidelity to blame for the Republicans' split from Grover Norquist?
New Decoy Website Launched To Lure Away All Moronic Internet Commenters
SAN JOSE, CA—With funding from dozens of news outlets and media companies, the groundbreaking Outkube.com launched this week, providing an online destination where ...
Middle-Aged Woman Angrily Demanding Price Check On Rice Pudding Was Once Carefree Youth, Onlookers Speculate
WESTBROOK, ME—Once, perhaps very many years ago, the enraged 42-year-old woman currently berating a Hannaford supermarket cashier over the price of a package of ...
New Live Poll Allows Pundits To Pander To Viewers In Real Time
In The Know's new live internet poll feature revolutionizes how pundits shamelessly cater to what viewers want to hear.
20% Of U.S. Adults Don't Use Internet
A Pew research report reveals that one in five adults in the United States don't use the Internet. What do you think?
Nation Finally Breaks Down And Begs Its Smart People To Just Fix Everything
WASHINGTON—Overwhelmed by the frustration of being utterly unable to solve any of the numerous difficult problems it faces, a worn-out nation finally broke down ...
Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash
Officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart.
Will Google, Facebook Stage Blackout Protest?
A number of Internet companies, including Google, Facebook, Amazon, Wikipedia, and Twitter, have reportedly considered a coordinated blackout of services to protest the controversial Stop ...
Yahoo! Lays Off 14% Of Workforce
Internet giant Yahoo! announced it would lay off 2,000 workers in order to save $375 million annually.
New Internet Destinations Created
The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) is sifting through candidates for new Internet suffixes to join .com and .net, and suggestions so ...




















